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kittykitchn
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I'm mad, I must be.

Aug 20th, 2016, 22:30 PM   #1
 
Bubba is 4 months next week and from the moment she was born I wanted to try for another asap.
It took us 2 years to conceive, and I'm worried that once we start trying again it'll take another two years+

What sort of age gap is best? I'd like her to have a sibling to play with.
However, my pregnancy was AWFUL and I cannot imagine having a baby/toddler to care for whilst having 9 months of terrible illness.
Bubba is also an absolute demanding, fussy, high needs child - I'm not sure having another whilst she is such a pain is the best idea.
 
 

 
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TS1982
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Aug 21st, 2016, 04:28 AM   #2
 
Hi Kitty. There's 25 months between my 2 and for me I feel it's a great gap xx my SIL has a 21 month gap and she's very happy with it too as they are so close. Best of luck with your decision xxx
 
 

 
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Emily0505
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Aug 21st, 2016, 19:07 PM   #3
 
There's pros and cons to any age gap I think.

Cam will be at school as and when we have another baby. Although there will be a few years between them, I'll have time to spend one to one with baby.

Every pregnancy is different, so you may not feel at all poorly next time.

It's hard as well as you never know how long it'll take for you to fall pregnant. I'm two years down the line Ann's never imagined it would take this long! But then, there are people who think it'll take ages and catch first cycle!

As for how much time you need to dedicate to Audra right now, if she's really needing her mummy then you have to think about how you would manage with two. How on board is hubby with everything? I know the two of you have had times where it's been a bit less than ideal.

XX
 
 

 
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EllieH
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Aug 27th, 2016, 13:44 PM   #4
 
I have a friend who (unintentionally) has a 15 month age gap between her babies but I know she wouldn't change it for the world, they get on with each other's friends and they're really close!

With the demanding LO now, she might not be so much in 9months time, it's a long time in baby time, with growing and understanding plus if her demands can't be met immediately when baby arrives she might adjust better to it the younger she is

Hope this helps!
 
 
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MrsS15
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Aug 28th, 2016, 14:16 PM   #5
 
Hi kitty,

Nice to see you about the forum, your girl is beautiful!

Trying for another with a small age gap is totally personal choice. I've obviously got a very big age gap but I still wouldn't have chose to have a small age gap. My sister has 14 months between her girls and I know she'd never choose to do it again. She doesn't ever regret her girls but she regrets how close in age they are. She never enjoyed the oldest because she was pregnant with her next so quickly and felt so shitty she just lived for bedtime, then she never enjoyed the baby because the older one was so demanding and she couldn't leave them alone together for 2 seconds. I won't lie, seeing how hard it was (and still is) for my sister I'd never do it. If Audra is a difficult baby that's even more reason for you to wait even until she's 1 before you try again. When you're broody it's for the little tiny baby stage and that just goes so quickly. Savour your time with Audra, let her have her mummy all to herself for a little while longer then think about it again. It sounds like if you got pregnant soon you wouldn't get the chance to completely savour and enjoy such a precious time!

Good luck whatever you decide xx
 
 

 
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TashaWink
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Sep 5th, 2016, 07:15 AM   #6
 
I have a 3 yr 3month age gap. Which was perfect for me because I got to spend that amount of time alone with my eldest and then he went to nursery so I got some alone time with baby. however with my next I'm aiming for 2yr 1-3month gap. Mainly because I need to go back to work so waiting for another year isn't realistic (I'm a stay at home mum until all children are in full time school) but I also want a smaller gap so they can play together better.
My eldest loves board games but we rarely play them because the youngest ruins it. So I'm hoping a smaller age gap would mean less wait for them all to be of that age!
 
 

 
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ab11
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Sep 6th, 2016, 21:22 PM   #7
 
Hope your well kitty
Funnily enough me n hubby have discussed this, cause we took so long to conceive Coby we don't want to wait to long so after Christmas were going to stop using condoms n just see what happens xx
 
 
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kumber
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Sep 6th, 2016, 22:05 PM   #8
 
I have a 14 month age gap and it was hard for the first 10 months as ds2 had horrendous reflux and tongue tie so he didn't eat or sleep, but now it's amazing seeing their bond grow. We'll now have 3 years between ds1 and the next baby, and 2 years between ds2 and the next baby.



 
 

 
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Luella
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Sep 19th, 2016, 10:44 AM   #9
 
Hi Kitty,
I'm new to this forum but have a 6 month old boy and we're starting to ttc #2 asap. I've got PCOS and in my mid 30s and while it only took 6 months to fall pregnant with my son every month I didn't fall pregnant was heartbreaking, hence the decision to try again asap. Like you, I can't imagine what it will be like to have 2, but I figure that if I had actually understood what it was like to have one before I got pregnant I would have been a little apprehensive about doing so! (I love my son to bits but was totally unprepared for how full on I would find things! I definitely don't regret having him - in fact it is amazing, but a big change). However I've figured that I have coped and if I had 2 I would also cope because I would have to. Also even if I fell pregnant immediately, there's no telling what my little boy will be like in 9 months. I understand this approach isn't for everyone and I hope you make a decision that suits you and your family.
 
 
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Crinkles90
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Sep 21st, 2016, 12:09 PM   #10
 
I agree its deffo a personal choice... my little ones are now 5 4 3 (they all have their birthdays this month.. november and jan) I love the small age gap. They are so close its lovely! It was challenging and very hard in the early stages juggling munckins and work but now its great! we have left a bit of a gap between little man and our final one though!

No matter what you decide you'll make it work! good luck xx
 
 

 
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KHTW
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Dec 21st, 2016, 14:42 PM   #11
 
Hi there. Definitely a personal choice.

Our little miss is nearly 15 months old and I cannot imagine having another baby now. And it's not only about the fact that it would be difficult to look after 2 small children but, for me it's more about having to share my time with another baby when I know that LO wants to spend her every moment with me. Perhaps when she is closer to 4 she may get a brother or sister x
 
 

 
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Kholl
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Dec 21st, 2016, 15:20 PM   #12
 
I remember reading that when you think of your children and what kind of family you want (number of children, age gaps etc) think AFTER the first 5 years. Think of your children when they are older cause if you just focus on those baby/toddler years it will be overwhelming. Those first 5 years are gonna be so hard no matter what, so just be at peace with the fact that it will be very difficult at first no matter what. Does that make sense?

Keep us posted!
 
 

 
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poppy86
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Apr 4th, 2017, 14:29 PM   #13
 
There's 18 months between me and my sister but we weren't really that close as kids. I'm not particularly close with her now, either and we live quite far apart. I'd describe our relationship as passive-civil. It's not necessarily the age gap between them that gets them to get along so much as it is how they were brought up and how they were taught to interact with each other. Sorry if this advice sucks, just going on experience
 
 
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