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MarshallsS88
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Oct 23rd, 2017, 21:53 PM   #31
 
Good luck at your appointment Alexis, I have my fertility appointment to discuss IUI a week on Tuesday.

Moomingirl, I’m sorry to hear you didn’t have a very good experience, but good on your for going back and following your dream of having a child. Fingers this other doctor will be better for you x
 
 
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MoominGirl
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Oct 23rd, 2017, 22:13 PM   #32
 
I refuse to be taken down by one arrogant idiot who was full of sh*t quite honestly. After a bit of investigation, we discovered she was clinical lead which is why I want to start from scratch with a new clinic. We're lucky with where we live that there are several possibilities and the clinic I've chosen will take us under NHS.

Currently just trying to get through the 2ww until the inevitable happens. Had a long chat with hubby while we were away and it was really helpful in working out where we both are with this. I have absolutely no faith whatsoever in our chances of conceiving any more and emotionally I really feel like I'm done. He's still clinging on to hope and of course I need to respect that. We will carry on trying naturally but I still want to be referred again. Not so we rush into anything but I want to get all the options available to us so we can make an informed decision. Really I just feel like the quicker we exhaust all our options, the sooner I can start to move on. Right now I just can't imagine we will get our happy ending. I just want to go back to a place where TTC doesn't consume me. I don't think OH realised that it's literally all I think about and I'm just not sure how much more I can take. It's been nearly 3 years since I came off the pill and it's been nothing but heartache since.

Good luck with your appointment too MarshallsS88.
 
 
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Alexis2017
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Oct 23rd, 2017, 22:16 PM   #33
 
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Originally Posted by MoominGirl View Post
Good luck with your appointment Alexis. I have just booked an appointment with the GP so we can be referred again but to a different clinic. Despite everything we've been through, I just don't feel it's meant to be for us so I want to get the ball rolling sooner rather than later.

We had a particularly poor experience at our appointment which still haunts me but I truly think that doctor was having some sort of midlife crisis which is the only reason I'm prepared to put us through it again!!! Don't believe for a second that it was normal experience! Make sure you go armed with your questions. As you've had a lot less tests than me, I would expect they will want to do and ultrasound then possibly an HSG depending on the scan. Hope it goes well for you.
Thank you. Yeah I need to write down my questions...but so many. Good luck with your next appt and hope it goes better than previous! I never wanted to accept this but its happening so now I just need to look forward now.
 
 

 
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MoominGirl
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Oct 23rd, 2017, 23:02 PM   #34
 
I think it will be a while but hopefully after Xmas by the time the paperwork goes through. Won't see the GP for a couple of weeks as I wanted an appointment mid cycle when I'm generally less of a wreck. I think when you hear about fertility problems, you just assume they happen to other couples. It's never something you think will happen to you. I still don't think OH has really accepted it either. I'm seriously starting to look at ways forward and planning things to look forward to. Our life needs to go on even if that means just the two of us.
 
 
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MarshallsS88
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Oct 24th, 2017, 06:24 AM   #35
 
Even though we managed to fall pregnant last Jan, unfortunately ended in a MC, we still feel that it just isn’t going to happen naturally again for us. It’s been 8 months since the MC and me and my OH have finally come to terms with the fact that we need a helping hand in all this. Who ever thought getting pregnant was so hard, when you see all these one night stands ending in pregnancy, they must be highly fertile or very lucky. Annoys me seeing so many just fall pregnant on soaps (yes I know it’s not really but I’m like ‘it doesn’t happen just like that!’ Lol.
I’m hoping we all get our little bit of happiness soon, cos like you moominGirl, it’s all I ever think about and I cannot switch off, wish I could go back and not look into how it all works and just go along with it being a whole less stressed. X
 
 
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KHTW
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Oct 24th, 2017, 07:16 AM   #36
 
Oh girls I really hope you get to talk to someone who can help and also is nice and understanding! Nothing worse than having to talk to someone you feel doesn't even care! x
 
 

 
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Alexis2017
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Oct 24th, 2017, 20:57 PM   #37
 
Good luck Marshalls. Yeah I wanted the husband, 2 children the dog and the house...all thats missing is the children part. I wiah I could say I didnt think it would be us having the problems but from mid teenage years I had a feeling I couldnt have a baby and from then on its haunted the back of my mind. I told DH this when We started trying and he told me I was talking rubbish but now he is starting to realise it should have happened by now the amount of effort we have put in. I am the same when you say you can't think about anything else. It has consumed my life and I have no idea how you just walk away from all this with no baby at the end of it. I literally think this is the worst thing ever to happen in my eyes. What do we do for the rest of our lifes...who will care when we are old and need our shopping done? When there is no 1st words 1st day at school ...1st anything. It's a lonely old ride with no children to share it with .
 
 

 
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_GG_
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Oct 24th, 2017, 21:05 PM   #38
 
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Originally Posted by Alexis2017 View Post
Good luck Marshalls. Yeah I wanted the husband, 2 children the dog and the house...all thats missing is the children part. I wiah I could say I didnt think it would be us having the problems but from mid teenage years I had a feeling I couldnt have a baby and from then on its haunted the back of my mind. I told DH this when We started trying and he told me I was talking rubbish but now he is starting to realise it should have happened by now the amount of effort we have put in. I am the same when you say you can't think about anything else. It has consumed my life and I have no idea how you just walk away from all this with no baby at the end of it. I literally think this is the worst thing ever to happen in my eyes. What do we do for the rest of our lifes...who will care when we are old and need our shopping done? When there is no 1st words 1st day at school ...1st anything. It's a lonely old ride with no children to share it with .
Not having your own children doesn't have to mean not being a mum and not having children. OH and I will absolutely be fostering at some point in the not too distant future. Both happy to consider adoption if we can't have our own as well.

For us, it would be extremely hard to accept not being able to have our own, but we do believe we can give children a really good life and all the love in the world, so neither of us could justify not giving that to another child just because it didn't have our DNA.

That doesn't for one second mean I think that's right for everyone. One of my closest friends gave up trying after her 5th failed IVF and she quickly made peace with it. I don't know how she did it, but she really did just find a way to accept it and find a new future to look to. The only thing she has found hard is that she would adopt, but her husband absolutely won't.

We are all slaves to our own wants, needs, dreams and desires and ultimately, we will find the path that helps us get through.

Big hugs to you xxx
 
 
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MarshallsS88
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Oct 24th, 2017, 21:28 PM   #39
 
It’s a toughie isn’t it. If the doctor told me I wasn’t able to have kids then I would definitely be up for adopting, but because I know there’s nothing wrong with either of us all I want is to experience carrying a baby, I want the morning sickness, I want to labour pains, I want to have the pain of pushing a baby out, I want the sleepless nights, so I don’t think I could adopt, which sounds awful.

I hope you all find your happiness soon, we all deserve the break soon x
 
 
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_GG_
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Oct 24th, 2017, 21:31 PM   #40
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarshallsS88 View Post
Itís a toughie isnít it. If the doctor told me I wasnít able to have kids then I would definitely be up for adopting, but because I know thereís nothing wrong with either of us all I want is to experience carrying a baby, I want the morning sickness, I want to labour pains, I want to have the pain of pushing a baby out, I want the sleepless nights, so I donít think I could adopt, which sounds awful.

I hope you all find your happiness soon, we all deserve the break soon x
It's such a very personal thing isn't it. Xx
 
 
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treetrunks
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Oct 24th, 2017, 21:48 PM   #41
 
I think in todays society people who can foster and adopt are highly sought after, I know 2 women who adopted recently, one got an 18month old, one got a 3 month old. They both are really happy but it does take a year and a half or more I think so always better to get the ball rolling especially if in late 30's.
I sometimes wonder if we ever will have our own child but oh says we should be happy and enjoy the life we have and any children that come along are added blessings xxx
 
 

 
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MarshallsS88
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Oct 24th, 2017, 22:55 PM   #42
 
You’re so right Treetrunks. I respect anyone who goes into fostering or adoption, it’s such a nice thing to do, to give a child such a loving home and the right start to life. X
 
 
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Qwerty123
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Oct 25th, 2017, 18:08 PM   #43
 
5dpo and convinced I am pregnant...who is with me? I am sure my mind is playing tricks on me and itís far too early to tell. Iíve had ďsensationsĒ in uterus/ovary area since ovulation. Itís been on and off the whole time since and I donít recall having that on other cycles. I am trying to tell myself that Iím not but I think because we dtd loads around ovulation I am really hoping we have caught this month. We have been trying for years and had quite a few chemicals. getting hopes up is dangerous because it makes it so much worse when the witch arrives. XxxxX
 
 
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Alexis2017
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Oct 25th, 2017, 18:25 PM   #44
 
We would adopt if we cant have our own. Its the whole process that makes it daunting not the looking after children I didnt carry in my womb.
 
 

 
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MoominGirl
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Oct 25th, 2017, 21:37 PM   #45
 
We have talked about the idea of adopting if this doesn't end well for us. OH was actually a lot more open to the idea than I expected which was good. As much as I would be a bit sad that I would have missed out on the experience of a pregnancy, I think I could make peace with the fact that my recent kidney stone would be the closest I would get to labour pain haha!!

I think I'm about 9/10dpo. This month's symptoms of not being pregnant are as follows. Tiredness, tender boobs, emotional, light crampy pains in the lower back, tummy and groin and between the shoulder blades for some reason

Had a bit of a meltdown last night. Just so fed up of constantly thinking does this random symptom mean something? Of course it doesn't. All it leads to is disappointment. I just want to enjoy life as normal without all this emotional crap. Really not feeling hopeful and totally fed up of it all!!
 
 
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