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BumbleTumble
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rant!!

May 18th, 2012, 20:53 PM   #1
 
this is technically good news, but still not a 'normal' thing to happen.

my funding has been approved for a parenting assessment unit. (due to a history of severe mental health issues) i will go for 6 weeks after Jasmine is born.
this is actually really good news, because it could have gone the other way and i could have gone to court apparently

i will probably appreciate the extra support to be honest.

but i still cant help feeling sad that im not doing things how they 'should' be done. i still dont know where im going to be living, i cant stay where i am now with a baby.
i want to give Jasmine the best start possible, and i know she wont be aware or remember the fact that she was in (basically) a psych ward for the first 6 weeks of her life, but i will remember it!!!
what will happen if it looks obviously like a ward? it will be easily seen in photos. ive been on plenty of other types of psych ward, and there can be a few rather unsettled patients, i would be worried about being there with my baby in case something happened to her.

i know its a really good thing for them to be arranging this for me, and it should be good. but im so anxious!!
 
 

 
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Loula
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May 18th, 2012, 21:44 PM   #2
 
sorry your ging through this im sure all will work out, can you not go and have a look around before x
 
 

 
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Happyred
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May 18th, 2012, 23:42 PM   #3
 
I agree with loula, ask if you can go for a visit which might put your mind at rest.
If this isnt possible discuss your concerns with one of the nurses on your ward, im sure they will be able to put your mind at ease.
These parent assessment units are specific for mothers and babies needs, so are quite different from your usual mental health wards and you and your lo will be perfectly safe there.
Dont beat yourself up about having to do things a wee bit differently, at the end of the day you re doing what is best for Jasmine and thats what matters!
 
 

 
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Em91
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May 19th, 2012, 09:12 AM   #4
 
Just look at it as getting extra support for a bit, she will be oblivious and I'm sure it'll be quite a homely environment not like a pysch ward. xx

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Little_angel
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May 19th, 2012, 09:56 AM   #5
 
I visited one of these units during my training and it didn't seem to me to be anything like you think it might. It was a very homely place, with good facilities, single rooms and a high staffing level. The mothers seemed well supported. it seemed very secure.

This was about 15 years ago, so I'm sure that things will have moved on even further.

Surely you can arrange to visit the unit now that you know you are going there? I'm sure it will put your mind at rest to see it and meet some of the staff.

Don't worry about photos, you can take close up photos of your lo to send to people and they will only see a normal background of say a cot. Don't be ashamed of it though, you are doing the right and sensible thing in seeking the support you need and ensuring a stronger future for you and your lo.
 
 

 
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BumbleTumble
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May 19th, 2012, 10:45 AM   #6
 
thankyou so much ladies.

i just feel like ive already failed as a mum because the professionals already believe i cant look after my baby, or at least they are worried enough to spend 27,000 on a 6 week stay at one of these places!

i know it will be a huge help, because im terrified, but no more than any first time mum i dont think.
its all very confusing and worrying!

xxx
 
 

 
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jacy90
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May 19th, 2012, 11:59 AM   #7
 
Just saw this thread, and I agree with all the other ladies! You'll be a brilliant mum, and the fact that you're already accepting the help and everything shows that. Tbh, I'd love some extra help in my first 6 weeks! Definately agree with seeing if you can go look at the place and maybe meet some of the people who would be helping you, might ease your worries a bit. You haven't failed as a mum, you're doing what best for your lil'un, and that's what being a good mum is xx
 
 

 
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BumbleTumble
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May 19th, 2012, 20:40 PM   #8
 
thanks hun

i have a meeting with my community nurse and psychiatrist on Wednesday and i will ask them if i could go and see it.
it feels like there is so much pressure to be perfect!

xx
 
 

 
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cosmicgirl
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May 19th, 2012, 20:45 PM   #9
 
Good on you for getting the help you need, lots wouldn't and I think you're wonderful for doing this. Keep your grad held high, you're doing everything you can for your lo xx
 
 
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Karate Kid
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May 19th, 2012, 21:28 PM   #10
 
I genuine think you would have failed if you were not willing to get help or support hun. You are doing the best you can and that is all we can do. I hope you get to see the unit you are going to before you move there. As for photos when LO arrives don't stress, LO will not know the difference. She just wants you to love her and you already care about her enough already to doubt your abilities.... Most of my friends who are mothers are amazing and doubt there ability on a daily basis!! Xx


 
 

 
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BumbleTumble
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May 20th, 2012, 01:47 AM   #11
 
thankyou so much everyone, you have all made me feel so much better about this, you cannot believe!

i also know a few people who doubt their ability as a mum, and they are excellent mums! But i think these feelings for me are magnified by my disorder, as long as i can continue to recognise that, i should be ok!

xxx
 
 

 
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Little_angel
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May 20th, 2012, 15:08 PM   #12
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by BumbleTumble;

i just feel like ive already failed as a mum because the professionals already believe i cant look after my baby, or at least they are worried enough to spend 27,000 on a 6 week stay at one of these places!
No, they obviously think you can look after your baby, otherwise they wouldn't be spending the 27k on supporting you to do it.
 
 

 
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