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PF Rookie
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 63

Single mum-to-be and starting to feel really down

Oct 31st, 2017, 22:00 PM   #1
Hi Ladies,

Just thought I'd come on here for some moral support. Feeling really blue this evening after having a lengthy conversation with OH today about us splitting and me doing this alone. I know it's for the best and it was my decision - he still wants us to try and work it out, but after two years of unpredictability (he has an undiagnosed mood disorder - which he refuses to acknowledge - very up and down mood swings), I no longer think I can stand it, certainly not with a baby on the way. Perhaps we both (very naively) thought that a baby might strengthen our relationship, bring some consistency to it. Needless to say, it hasn't changed a thing, of course! We'd been trying for over a year and finally got our BFP in September. Both over the moon and of course this baby will be loved and supported by both its parents no matter what, but unfortunately we cannot do it together. I told him I needed stability and that he couldn't provide it and I felt empowered and strong about this today but now I feel really weepy and scared. I guess I just want someone to tell me that everything is going to be okay. We both love each other very much and I know he will be a great dad (he already has a daughter who he is brilliant with - on a part-time basis). It's just so sad that we won't be the family we'd hoped for xx
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 391

Nov 5th, 2017, 21:37 PM   #2
Sorry to hear this but it WILL be ok! It is better for a child to be raised by two happy and loving parents apart than two parents constantly at each otherís throats together. xx
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Join Date: Oct 2017
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Nov 22nd, 2017, 08:33 AM   #3
I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Baby needs stability, if dad isn't ready to take responsibility for his emotional heath then in my opinion baby needs to be kept protected. Everything is gong to be ok, as long as you keep your priorities straight, baby needs you to make choices that lead to a stable childhood.

My father had a mood disorder, this created a very unstable environment for me and my siblings. My dad loved us very much, but he hurt us through his instability. His access to us should have been more limited. It may seem harsh to give him "tough love" but if he can't take care of himself how can he be expected to take care of a baby?

Sending good vibes and support.


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PF Rookie
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 11

Feb 12th, 2018, 02:35 AM   #4
Just don't give up, stay strong
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feel, mumtobe, single, starting

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