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Dovekie
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Surname for baby

Jan 2nd, 2017, 19:45 PM   #1
 
I'm struggling to decide on my baby's surname. I initially assumed it would have my boyfriend's surname, but we haven't been together long and have had many ups and downs. There's no guarantee we'll stay together or marry. I'm beginning to wonder why it can't share my surname. I mentioned this to my mother and she thinks I'm being silly and it should have it's father's surname.

To those of you that don't share a surname with your partner, what have you decided to do?
 
 
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snowbee
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Jan 2nd, 2017, 19:49 PM   #2
 
If I was not married I would give our baby my surname. If we then got married and I took his name we would then change their name too.

As I would be the primary care giver I would wish the child to have the same surname as me, makes things like doctors, schools etc so much easier.
 
 

 
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lisey
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Jan 2nd, 2017, 20:07 PM   #3
 
When I had my son, I knew myself and the Dad wouldn't stay together long as it was rocky anyway. We gave both our names and use both on everything such as school and doctors etc. With this baby, I am with someone else, we have been together 6 years and are very secure. We are engaged but I am not sure when we will get married due to the cost etc. I think we will still give both names but only use his at school etc as it is a very long name. I don't want her to ask why she doesn't have the same name as me, this way I can say that she does have the same name as me and the same as her brother too.

I would give either your name or both xx
 
 

 
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Eryinera
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Jan 2nd, 2017, 20:14 PM   #4
 
My son had my then boyfriends surname as we planned to get married and hwe was on the birth certificate you'll need to read up on if surname gas any effect on paternal rights etc. When we eventually got married we decided to adopt his mother's maiden name so we all changed name when we got married lol.
 
 

 
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Starchild
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Jan 2nd, 2017, 20:30 PM   #5
 
Our daughter has both OHs and mine. With mine being first.

We're getting married next summer & I'm not yet certain if I'll take his name (I like my own better. ) so I may take on a double barrel too to match my daughter.

There's no reason your baby can't have your surname. People wonder why my LO has a double barrel, but I'm not bothered about that at all. I wanted my daughter to share my name and so did OH. So it worked for us.


 
 

 
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lisey
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Jan 2nd, 2017, 20:39 PM   #6
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Starchild View Post
Our daughter has both OHs and mine. With mine being first.

We're getting married next summer & I'm not yet certain if I'll take his name (I like my own better. ) so I may take on a double barrel too to match my daughter.

There's no reason your baby can't have your surname. People wonder why my LO has a double barrel, but I'm not bothered about that at all. I wanted my daughter to share my name and so did OH. So it worked for us.

I don't like my OHs surname either, when we get married I will be going double barrel but using mine still
 
 

 
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snowbee
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Jan 2nd, 2017, 22:56 PM   #7
 
I didn't like my maiden name and my new name isn't much (any) better (and now I have a name I have to spell all the time)... Oh well could be worse, at least it isn't like a teacher my sister had, Mrs Pratt. No way would I have swapped to that!
 
 

 
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lisey
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Jan 2nd, 2017, 23:16 PM   #8
 
Snowbee, my maths teacher was Mrs Cox, no way would I take that on! My OH surname is Polish and very long. I would have to spell it out all the time and nobody can pronounce it. I really like my surname so not giving it up xx
 
 

 
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Sparklegirl
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Jan 3rd, 2017, 00:15 AM   #9
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by lisey View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Starchild View Post
Our daughter has both OHs and mine. With mine being first.

We're getting married next summer & I'm not yet certain if I'll take his name (I like my own better. ) so I may take on a double barrel too to match my daughter.

There's no reason your baby can't have your surname. People wonder why my LO has a double barrel, but I'm not bothered about that at all. I wanted my daughter to share my name and so did OH. So it worked for us.

I don't like my OHs surname either, when we get married I will be going double barrel but using mine still
Haha this is like me! I did change my name when I got married but I hate his name. The names we have picked for any children we may have dont go with our surname, nothing does its so hideous!
 
 

 
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kumber
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Jan 4th, 2017, 21:00 PM   #10
 
My boys have my name, and hubby will be taking my name when we get married. I'm very proud of my name and our family history so I wasn't prepared to give it up. Thankfully hubby also likes my name and wants to be removed from his own so it's worked out well


 
 

 
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Aes1990
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Jan 5th, 2017, 10:29 AM   #11
 
My first DD has my surname and DD2 has our surnames hyphenated x


 
 
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JulyBug
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Jan 5th, 2017, 11:20 AM   #12
 
My baby will have my partner's surname, we are not married or plan to be however we've been together for a very long time and believe this is how it should be. I will always be his/her's mother no matter what name they have lol xx
 
 

 
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Dovekie
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Jan 5th, 2017, 11:53 AM   #13
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aes1990 View Post
My first DD has my surname and DD2 has our surnames hyphenated x
Why is that? Are you with your partner?
 
 
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MrsS15
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Jan 6th, 2017, 20:57 PM   #14
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by snowbee View Post
I didn't like my maiden name and my new name isn't much (any) better (and now I have a name I have to spell all the time)... Oh well could be worse, at least it isn't like a teacher my sister had, Mrs Pratt. No way would I have swapped to that!
When my friend marries her partner she'll become Mrs Pratt she's ttc and finding baby names a nightmare to go with it, funnily enough
 
 

 
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El1en
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Jan 6th, 2017, 21:05 PM   #15
 
I thought long and hard about this when I was pregnant as my boyfriend was unsure he'd ever want to get married. I caved eventually and have my lo his surname and regretted it for a long time. I had in my head if my oh had his mind made up then when lo started school I'd change my surname by deed poll as I wished I'd just given her my name. As it happens oh's mind has been blown since lo was born and we are now getting married this year so it's worked out okay but if I went back in time I'd give her my name
 
 
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