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PF Newbie
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 6

What do I do now??!

Aug 9th, 2018, 15:47 PM   #1
Hi ladies, Iím just looking for a bit of advice. Our little girl is 2 weeks old today and since weíve had her my mum has visited 4 times (twice in hospital and the other times was to cook me and my partner some food and give me and my partner in an hour upstairs to relax together)
So last night we visited her at her house (for the first time in 5 months) and out the blue my other half went really off and rude I.e. he just sat on his phone looking at watches on eBay. When we left I asked what on earth was wrong with him and he ignored me so I left him to it and took little one to bed whilst he watched tv downstairs for a good 4 hours ... following 17 hours of being ignored and getting no help through the night or anything I asked him again and his answer was in a very bitter way ďmaybe I didnít want to go sit at your mums house, have you thought of that oneĒ
He also said she has visited too much in the last fortnight and he doesnít want it. After this he made me a cuppa and has been normal. My mum isnít over bearing and has only ever praised my partner for looking after me. He may be acting fine now but I canít help but keep getting upset over this (maybe hormones I donít know)
Any advice would be appreciated here.

Thank you in advance ladies xx
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PF Savvy
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 119

Aug 9th, 2018, 22:06 PM   #2
I would tell him to sort it out. Surely if he doesn’t want to go he doesn’t have to? Maybe his tired having a newborn but so are you and I’m sure your grateful for your mums help.
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PF Rookie
Join Date: Aug 2018
Posts: 15

Aug 10th, 2018, 09:14 AM   #3
I can think of many things that could cause this.....

1) maybe he doesn't feel as needed anymore when you have to focus on your girl and he's trying to show that what he wants is also important?
2) maybe he's struggling to get any free time for himself and gets grumpy because of that?
3) maybe he is scared that your mum will have too much influence on you and newborn?

Hard to say really without knowing the situation better. I guess you will have to get to the root of this

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Laura butchers
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 278

Aug 10th, 2018, 11:02 AM   #4
Is his mum around to help out? When i had my son my MIL never offered to help out or come and visit us. Where as my mum helped us so much, not over baring but as new parents i think we all need a bit of guidance and she was always willing to help out.
Maybe if his parents arent involved much or offering to help he may feel embarrassed and thereford trying to blame your parents for being too involved.
I may be wrong and he could just be tired and grumpy. Was he like that at your mums before baby was born.. or only since?

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Join Date: Dec 2016
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Aug 11th, 2018, 14:23 PM   #5
I might have to side with him on this one, not his behaviour because it’s not fair but I do emphathise and understand what he means.

You guys have just had a baby. Like literally just. Just like the mother does, the father needs time to adjust to a whole new family situation. Having other people in your space can make that really difficult.

Perhaps talk to him about how he’s feeling about it and come to an arrangement regarding visitors that both helps you out and gives you support but also doesn’t impose on the new family dynamic.
Perhaps he’s feeling like he’s not getting enough alone time with you both or like PPs have said, that you’re relying on your mum more than him and he feels a bit left out.

It’s worth talking to him about it as despite how he’s acting now, you both need to be happy and comfortable adjusting to everything.

His behaviour about it isn’t okay but I don’t think he’s wrong about the reason why he feels that way.

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PF Rookie
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: London
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Aug 11th, 2018, 14:30 PM   #6
talk to him about his attitude and approach. maybe he's tired: maybe something happened that you do not know about?
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