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kerysnicolexx
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Teen parents ...

Aug 5th, 2018, 15:06 PM   #1
 
Iím 9 weeks pregnant. Iím 18 and my partner is 19, we really wanted our baby and the future as a family looked so so happy for us.
We live together and thatís where our problems start. I literally feel like Iím living with a toddler but worse. He canít iron his own shirts and expects me to do them all the time, I have had a major migraine today and Iíve been sick with the morning sickness all day. The last thing I wanted to do was move. He dropped ketchup all over our carpet and just told me he didnít know how to clean it up, so there I go on my hands and knees with a pounding head scrubbing his mess up. Then he comes and hands me a shirt to iron, I literally canít see properly to iron because my head was getting so bad, I tried my best but it wasnít good enough because the creases werenít coming out. He doesnít clean after himself, he doesnít even know how to work a hoover. I do everything here and I feel too Unwell to most of the time, it makes me resent him and I really donít want to!

Iíve been thinking about going to stay with my mum for a few weeks to get some peace and to have someone whoís able to relate to me better...

Iím just so at a loss, itís so hard😩
 
 
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Akua
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Aug 5th, 2018, 15:09 PM   #2
 
You need to have a serious chat with him. Because if you don’t insist he does it now, you’ll be stuck doing it forever.

He doesn’t know how to do it? Tough. Learn. Don’t be tempted to do it for him. Tell him how and let him practice.

Also ironing is not difficult. I can never comprehend when men act like it’s rocket science. You literally run something hot over a shirt
 
 

 
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Shepherdess
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Aug 5th, 2018, 15:14 PM   #3
 
I never iron. My dryer does a fab job so my clothes never need doing. I used to get stick from my Mil for not doing husbands shirts but I couldn't care less and kept saying he should do them himself. Took a year or two but he does them now

No woman should be a maid unless she's getting paid regardless of age. Stop picking up after him and he'll learn. If you're really poorly stay with your mum for some tlc
 
 

 
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Sazlarxo
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Aug 19th, 2018, 08:14 AM   #4
 
Relationships should be equal (unless the other way works for you, then go for it) and a man needs to know how to take care of himself. He's young and has probably had his mum to do everything for him up and until you turned up, so you need to tell him straight. Pregnant or not he needs to man up because when baby gets here you will need him to help you more than ever, and if I hear he's making you do everything whilst taking care of your baby
 
 

 
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p1ngu
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Aug 19th, 2018, 09:04 AM   #5
 
I agree with the other replies, he needs to learn! Don't do it for him, you're feeling really unwell and he should be the one doing more at the moment. This is hard for a teenage male to get his head round, believe me I have been there! But you're not doing him any favours by doing it for him.

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MissKW
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Sep 30th, 2018, 08:07 AM   #6
 
He really needs to grow up. I know there are 2 sides to every story but it sounds like he's expecting you to be his mother as well as his partner.
I do all the house work when my hubby is busy working as I'm at home with the baby, but if he's home early enough he cooks for us every day, he does his own ironing and helps maintain the garden etc. I get horrid migraines too, my hubby knows how bad they are and he does everything he can to help me when I have them. We try to help each other and keep things equal.
I think you need to have a word with him or it will just get worse, being pregnant is hard, and having a new baby can be hard on the relationship at first too so you both need to be in a good place in your relationship to start with. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you
 
 
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chattychar1990
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Oct 1st, 2018, 10:00 AM   #7
 
You definitely need to sit down and have a chat with your OH.
This is the time you need him the most when you are suffering with morning sickness etc.
If he can do simple things like clean up ketchup then how on earth is he going to look after this child.
I would honestly be very worried if i was in your shoes about my future with him, you need someone that is going to help you with the child and the cleaning etc. Every relationship should be equal.
I hope you get this sorted x
 
 

 
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tinselcat
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Oct 2nd, 2018, 17:27 PM   #8
 
As others have said, you're not his mum! If you get into that pattern early in your relationship, you can bet it won't get better.

You need to have a clear conversation with him about your needs, expectations for you/him/together and where you want to draw the boundaries.

Personally I'd stop doing all that for him asap. Men can iron shirts too, you know!!

Lastly, I got married when I was just 21 to a fellow 21-y/o and there was definitely a maturity issue there. If you're coming straight from an environment where someone else basically does everything for you, you're going to be pretty uncomfortable if that doesn't continue. He may not take the conversation very well. But you need to be firm. If he wants some things done, he's just going to have to do them himself. You're not his maid-servant!! xxx

Plus, some people don't get how pregnancy can affect your health (so many people, including women, say "it's not an illness". But it can cause illness! and tremendous pain!! neither of which would otherwise be happening to your bodyl!)
 
 
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tinselcat
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Oct 2nd, 2018, 17:29 PM   #9
 
p.s. I've seen 2 year olds operate a hoover, it's not hard. Either he's lying, he's very sheltered (some might say spoiled), or (most likely), he's just very lazy!!!!!
 
 
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