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Mum2b_Dubai
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 11


Depression, anxiety, husbands not matter how silly you feel.

Aug 3rd, 2017, 23:52 PM   #1
 
Hi all. So normally I wouldn't talk about anything like this but I just can't seem to settle myself. I can't be the only one wanting to kill my husband.

I'm 8 weeks pregnant and suffered from hormonal imbalances, depression and anxiety all my life. I've been medication free for just over 2 years.

Since being pregnant as we know everything is heightened. I'm not really a crier but I'm feeling really overwhelmed by a few things.

I know I shouldn't say this as I know being pregnant is a gift, a special time but I can't help feeling sad. My therapist advised I'm adjusting to my new life and as selfish as that seems I do have issues adjusting to change and my dh knows his yet......

I am so sick of hearing he's tired. Well if your that tired stop going out drinking.

Stop moaning about work - I work full time too.

Clean up - that's right I don't feel like hovering some days

If you say your gonna do something. Do it.

I don't want to go to new dheli for a holiday while I'm pregnant? Wtf!

The thing is he never goes out. And recently it's been too much.

Since we've been pregnant he's been out a lot. Which I can deal with. What I can't deal with is telling me you'll be on for a certain time and your not. We had a serious conversation about it then tonight, again after assurances and promised he does it again. So when I call him out he tells me to put things in perspective. Like he could have been in a car crash... what the??? I tell you what love- I'll put it into perspective for you. I'm growing a little thing inside me, I'm scared. I feel ill all the time and exhausted and I told you I didn't want you to go out.

Hence my anxiety.

I'm not saying I don't want him to go out, but now more than ever I need some consistency. I need promises to be kept and I need to feel like I can trust what he says. its about respect.

We have had this conversation a few times and Its obvious I've been ignored. So what's the point..

Anyone else finding their husbands grating on their every nerve however silly it feels?




 
 
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Kimi89
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Essex
Posts: 108


Aug 4th, 2017, 13:41 PM   #2
 
A big fat yes to your question! My husband is being the same as yours, and I completely agree with you wanting consistency and reassurance, I need it to but don't get it. My OH said he will cut down on drink and quit smoking before baby comes....in due next Tuesday and he's not made a start of either of those vices which really really annoys me but when I try to talk to him he turns it around and says I tell him what to do all the time. He's been "cutting down/quitting" since New Years! He just likes to have a few beers every night and several at the weekend, but he needs to be more healthy like I'm being for our baby. Just because it's me carrying the baby doesn't mean he can't support me by changing his bad habits.
 
 
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Dovekie
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Join Date: Sep 2016
Posts: 693


Aug 12th, 2017, 12:04 PM   #3
 
I've had my baby now. I wasn't married as I got pregnant 3 months into a relationship, but I can relate to some of your concerns - especially the depression and lack of understanding. We split up when I was 38 weeks, so I'm now a single parent. The whole pregnancy was hell as we argued a lot. He wouldn't listen to any of my concerns and blamed my depression for everything. I was miserable and worried for the baby. They really can't, and don't seem to want to, understand what it's like for us. Our hormones are raging and we're getting tired and growing huge. My ex didn't seem to believe I was tired and, like yours, complained about it himself. It really is stressful if your partner isn't very supportive.

Have you tried explaining all of this to him? I have to admit, I explained this multiple times to my ex and he just ignored me and said I was using it as an excuse. I guess I would advise you to be careful not to let the problems escalate. Your hormones will only get worse and they're difficult to fight.
 
 

 
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