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Join Date: Mar 2016
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A smoking mother..

Mar 24th, 2016, 22:15 PM   #1
Hey ladies, I'm new here and I don't know where to ask this, so I'll ask it here.. I'm 22 weeks along with a baby boy.. Problem is, I live with my mother and my step-dad, and they both smoke like chimneys, so I am exposed A LOT to secondhand smoke.. They've been smoking for many years, and are 'trying to stop' but everday my mother goes out and buys another carton.. I'm 2o years old and recently lost my job because my employer didn't want a pregnant woman on the premise.. My boyfriend offered for me to stay at his house until they stop smoking, for the health of me and our little boy, but my mother will make that next to impossible.. My mother is always negative and berating when it comes to matters I'm in.. I have told her I will move out if they don't stop smoking, but she laughed and said, "I'd like to see you try to move, you won't make it.." So really, I just need advice on how to deal with this situation, because I'm becoming more and more depressed because I know what secondhand smoke does to a developing baby.. Please thank you in advance..
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Mar 24th, 2016, 22:27 PM   #2
Im lucky that my mum and dad were willing to follow my rules and turn their house smoke free. Theu smoke outside and not in the car now.

I made that very clear as I have a smoke free home Jackson wouldnt be exposed elsewhere. If you choose to smoke let it impose on your own health. I think if it were me Id move. For a couple of reasons. Firstly the smoke household, even stopping before the baby the house may and probably will still smell of smoke unless they decorate fully and also I wouldnt ever let my mum have that kind of hold on me. Its as if shes blackmailing you almost?

Your a grown girl and expecting your own baby. How you want your child raised is upto you and if thats to be in a smoke free home its probably best to move if you can. Youll be ok.

Perhaps put your name down for your own house in the meantime and you can have your own space to raise your child how you see fit.

Good luck.


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Mar 24th, 2016, 22:55 PM   #3
I feel for you.

Personally I would move out. Prove her wrong.

My parents don't smoke, but after a few too many fall outs with them I moved in with my then boyfriend when I was 17 lol.
I found out years later that my mum never really thought I'd do it & was surprised when I did!!! - Didn't stop her redecorating my room barely a week after I left though lol!

I got pregnant about a year later and so still lived with him obviously. My first baby was born 3 months before I turned 19.

We split up about 7 years ago now (just before I turned 23) and I briefly lived with my parents again until I could move into my own place.

Anyway, smoking aside I think you would probably be best getting your own place or living with your boyfriend. But definitely once the baby comes you don't want to be in that environment as it really increases your baby's risk of so many things (chest infections, ear infections, glue ear, cot death etc etc) and it's one of the things the midwives always ask, if you live with a smoker.

Right now your body will be filtering much of the second hand smoke (not ideal still but it will protect him as much as possible), but obviously you can no longer do that once he is born.

Good luck with everything xx

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Mar 27th, 2016, 21:57 PM   #4
I agree with the majority, I would move out. If you have somewhere to go then show her you can do it. Its nice to hear that you are concerned by the passive smoking- it sounds like you know what you want to do for the best for both you and baby boy.

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Mar 28th, 2016, 10:21 AM   #5
Well, smoking is really bad for anyone's health and needs to be prevented. I think, moving out is the best decision.
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Apr 1st, 2016, 04:45 AM   #6
Get the hell out of there. The smoke is toxic and your mom's treatment of you is toxic as well. All-around a terrible place for a baby (or anyone) to be.

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Apr 7th, 2016, 08:06 AM   #7
My parents smoke but luckily I don't live with them. I suffered with childhood asthma which cleared up as soon as I moved out of my parents house.
They all smoke in the kitchen but I hate it-I hate going round because I stink of smoke when I leave. If I pop in for a coffee after school everyone gathers in the kitchen to smoke, there'll be my sisters as well so there's a cloud in the air. I'm dreading taking baby-I don't want my baby or his pram stinking of smoke!

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Apr 7th, 2016, 09:24 AM   #8
Speak to your midwife to have the health visitor come out and give your mom a good telling! As like a pre meeting before the birth. Even if it's just to have your mom informed about the dangers!

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Apr 7th, 2016, 16:13 PM   #9
My parents both smoke and I used to smoke but stopped when I found out I was pregnant. I don't live with them but my mum will be looking after our baby when I return to work. I have told her she is not to smoke in my house as we don't allow anyone to smoke here. I won't let her have the baby at her house because of the smoke. I have said if the baby is asleep she can go outside and smoke but under no circumstances should she or my dad smoke around my child.
I know your situation is a little different but I defo think if you can live with your bf then why not? Your having a child together so live with him and be a family x
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May 19th, 2016, 12:16 PM   #10
I never smoke and would nor recommend it to anyone
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Feb 6th, 2017, 22:31 PM   #11
Originally Posted by FirstLiner View Post
Well, smoking is really bad for anyone's health and needs to be prevented. I think, moving out is the best decision.
Agree with that
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May 6th, 2018, 07:16 AM   #12
That's really cool. I also used to smoke even in first of my pregnancy I used to smoke but less but later on I changed my habit and now I don't smoke at all.
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Jul 11th, 2018, 16:07 PM   #13
If you dont move out you can hurt your child. Maybe not for 100% but this is a big problem
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