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bidsy
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 875


anyone feel like this?

Jan 23rd, 2012, 21:39 PM   #1
 
I'm not sure what to do as I just dont want to have sex! I cant get turned on I just want to go to bed to sleep. I dread bed time cause I know my DH will want to and i'll have to put him off by saying i'm tired.

My little boy is just turned 1, Ive read its common after having a baby but after a year I thought it would return. I know i'm upsetting my DH and he is feeling as though its him although I do reasure him but without a proper reason other than I dont know whats wrong with me.

Does anyone else feel like me, can doctors help do you think?
 
 

 
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cosmicgirl
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 16,519


Jan 23rd, 2012, 21:44 PM   #2
 
I feel exactly like you, have done for about 3 years now. Luckily my oh has a low sex dry too so it's not too bad (I know that doesn't solve the problem)
I suffer from vulvodynia which I'm sure has something to do with my problem, I also dry up as I find it difficult to stay aroused.
I think it's quite common after babies hun x
 
 
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Hunnie
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Jan 25th, 2012, 02:24 AM   #3
 
I feel like this a lot at the minute and I know it's going to happen because it's only 11 days since Sophie was born but I feel like it will never come back and I know already that it will cause problems with me and the OH.
 
 

 
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Constantstar
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: London
Posts: 4,661


Jan 25th, 2012, 07:58 AM   #4
 
Me too. Just don't want it. I'm not motivated and just not fussed! Which is causing arguments! :/
 
 

 
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jld123
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Hertfordshire
Posts: 840


Jan 25th, 2012, 17:47 PM   #5
 
i felt like this with my OH i found that i thought of every excuse not to have sex. we broke up recently and i feel my sex drive has come right back. I havent slept with anyone since, nor have i slept with him since the break up but personally i feel that it was becuase i wasnt sexually attracted to him anymore x
 
 
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whibs
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 13


Jan 25th, 2012, 20:08 PM   #6
 
the issue is you have to put the effort in, its a catch 22, you can't be bothered so putting the effort in seems like a chore and a duty adn if you don't not only do you feel guilty but the OH makes you feel even worse.

After my baby was 8 months i decide to buy some toys and surprise him, OK it is still a bit difficult to get going but the drive is there i just needed to work on it.

Chin up
 
 
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Daisy2011
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Bradford
Posts: 2,295


Jan 27th, 2012, 19:38 PM   #7
 
Half the battle is feeling that pressure becuase it makes you shy away from cuddles and holding hands and little kisses becuase you dont want to make him think its a green light. But if the pressure was off you might come around to it anyway.

Its hard but id say try to tell him how you are feeling becuase im sure that he will be feeling rejected and a bit resentful and hurt. Dont know if it will help but I made a sex ban with my last oh where it was off the table but small things were okay and the ban came of at fertile week- bc thats horny week. You can try lubes and toys that might make the intimacy grow a bit without feeling that you have to police every action just incase hes going to pounce and force you to say no.
But i also used to say that foreplay included doing the washing up/making tea/etc becuase that made me feel that he cared about me and respected us.

Its your body and you shouldnt do anything you dont want to do, but definately talk to him about it.

Good luck
x Daisy
 
 

 
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