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Not been getting on with oh is it that time...

Jan 15th, 2012, 08:42 AM   #1
Sorry guys massive vent! May not make sense but need to vent!!! we have been together 6 years and there is an age gap. He is 25 and I'm 28. He is outgoing always wanting to be with his mates and play football and really into his marine fish tank too. Whereas I'm quiet and go out occasionally but generally no where near as much as him.
All we do is argue. Since Owen was born he has taken Owen out by himself maybe 4 times. If he looks free him at home more often than not he is playing his play station and Owen is left I play with his toys or in his arms while he is playing. I always have owen . Also I cook clean wash etc etc I do everything, he often comes in and dumps things everywhere . Knocks things over leaves them. It's treading me out . I'm not perfect I do get moody and also I'm not greatly social, I'm sure I have a form of OCD . He can't have anyone over till the flats clean and tidy and all that and I hate going out to people's houses and meals. Give me a drink tho and a dance and I'm fine. We don't dtd either and that's my fault. I don't feel that spark or drive and he is always predictable just puts me off I can't be bothered .
I'm so stressed with it all .
anyway the latest incident is that He went football yesterday miles away and Said he had a water bottle in his hand when driving and went to catch it and hit someone's car causing scratches and that one of the passengers was shocked etc . He told them he would payoff any damage as insurance is redicolous ATM and when he told me I said " well that was stupid driving doing that and what if that woman plays up and says she injured of course she going to claim on you !" he went mad and shouted and hung up the phone. Apparently i should of supported him.
Well we should of being going out last night. He didn't get in till 5.45 from football and was going to bath and feed owen. I said I needed a while to get ready and I needed a bth first as the cab was coming at 7.30 . Well he takes Owen for his bath and then Owen starts screaming and screaming . I leave it a while but it's a horrid scream so I go in and try calm him down and oh buggers off . I said again to him I need a bath first . He locks himself in bathroom while I sort Owen and didn't come out till 7pm . How the hell was I suppose to get ready when I've looked after Owen all day!! It takes me a good 1 and 1/2 hours to get ready. So we had a huge argument and didn't go.
Woke up this morning and when I spoke to him he was like ' is someone talking' ( mature !) and then said I think we are over and I'm leaving at 9am and not coming back
Well I'm in the bath now hiding away.
So I don't know what's going on I'm so stressed too . I left a job paying 1800 to getting 1000 so I get more time with Owen an it's a struggle loosing that much money a month!! Gosh I'm sure it will be ok jut need to vent!!

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Jan 15th, 2012, 09:17 AM   #2
Oh Hun it sounds like he really needs to grow up and take some responsibility. I can sympathise as my o/h is crap too! How did he react to you saying you were going? X

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Jan 15th, 2012, 09:18 AM   #3
Aww hun that sounds horrible. Me and dh often argue about similar things.

I'm not very much of a going round people's houses being social kind of girl either... I prefer being in my own house. But then I hate having people invading my space.. we sound pretty similar!

I know i haven't offered much advice... Just wanted to say your not the only one feeling the way you do.

Hope things get sorted soon.

Has he said anything since?

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Jan 15th, 2012, 09:24 AM   #4
Oh bless you, x sounds to me like you both need to sit down and talk, he needs to adjust his behaviour now Owen is here, and he needs to be more supportive of you, xxx

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Jan 15th, 2012, 12:29 PM   #5
Thank u girls xx

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Jan 15th, 2012, 22:38 PM   #6
I duno what it is with guys, im not saying your situation is "normal" but its common. Guys think they can come & go as they please, give LO the occasional bath & get on with life. When I had my first LO i struggled too, OH didn't do much (hardly anything) & I found it really hard to decide if I should be putting up with that or leave. When we originally started ttc he promised to do certain things so I said, im not doing everything, either you do a bit more or im off. I had to say it as if i was speaking to a child so as not to put him in a huff, he gave me a cheeky remark, but knew i was serious, I am normally a happy person & I changed my mood the next few days, hardly talked/looked at him & went about as if i was un-happy, he must've known coz about 2 days later I walked in to find him doing the dishes (which he hadn't done in the previous years) It got better from there, but in the months/years after that I found myself having to speak to him like a child to get him to do things (rather than moan) & reward him - There is no proper way to do things but I found the not moaning & being very very nice when asking for stuff really did work (no idea why, still stick to the fact that men are like children) he now (nearly 10yrs later) does alot in the house. Oh and when I first met him all his friends gf's did everything & I didn't think that helped.

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