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stressful xmas

Jan 1st, 2012, 19:49 PM   #1
I have had the worst xmas so far. So stressful and upsetting and there is still no improvement and my mum is now turning the family against me and I am due in 5 weeks.

xmas day night I went for tea with oh to my parents to which my brother and wife went with their 3 dogs. As soon as I arrived my brotherís dog cocked his leg up me and peed. Yes may sound funny when you're not in that situation which I can understand, but at the time I was disgusted!! Bro just stood there smirking. I asked for an apology and he f'd at me and called me some unrepeatable names so I replied by calling him fat once (he had already called me this in his rant whilst aggressively waving his hand in my face as if he was about to hit me) this then escalated into him giving an eight month pregnant women a vicious verbal attack until my oh stepped in and asked him to stop upsetting me as by this point as I was in tears and shaking, then my dad intervened and separated them. My mum witnessed it all. My bro turned around and said that it was not his fault he canít have children?? Why this was bought up still astounds me. They have been trying for couple of years so Iíve never talked about my 1st pregnancy or anything in front of them. I text bro to try and sort it out and he replied with f u!!!
My bro left and we stayed for a couple of hours but the atmos was vile and my mum didnít speak a word to me so we said bye and left. Somehow my bro knew we had gone and went back to my mumís?
Boxing day came and I rang mum to see if I could still go round whilst oh at footie and she said yes then hung up on me so rang straight back and dad answered and said yes but wait until bro gone...fair enough.
Whilst there my mum never spoke, atmos awful and then I got a text from oh that all his mates knew about xmas day night as my brother and his wife had put vile personal attacking rants on facebook about me, my oh and unborn child. I went nuts.
This is the ultimate....my mum didnít see anything wrong with this or how he spoke to me. My dad was and still is mortified. I said bye so I didnít leave it awful and rang my oh who left footie to get me as I was beyond upset by now. My mum was going to let me wait outside in the cold for what could have been over an hour!
As it stands now my dad and sister are talking to me, I havenít had 1 day without crying and my mum isnít talking to me nor has she called to check if Iím ok after all the upset. Sheís saying my oh isnít welcome ever again in their house, despite him not doing anything other than stop my bro from attacking me, sheís now making my dadís life hell as he knows we didnít do anything wrong and he cant stand the fact my brother has come out as the injured party. She's basically lying to people about what happened.

Iím so distressed as my mum is pandering to every need of my brother and wife. My OH is disgusted by my mumís treatment of me more so than my brother behaviour as he as always been like that and pathetically hid behind my mum when my oh stood up to him. It seems he can bully me but hides when someone stands up to him.
Iím now left with the prospect of our baby being raised without a grandma any advice as to what I should do now?
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Jan 3rd, 2012, 21:59 PM   #2
Thread approved. Sorry for the delay
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Jan 3rd, 2012, 22:23 PM   #3
Hello - sounds like you've had an awful few days. Mums and son's eh (I now have a son and I hope im not like my Mum was with my Brother). I've had the most weird reaction from my brother about having a baby. He is single and decided to stay away for Christmas for the first time in 38 years! It is my parents first grandchild and I don't think he could cope with not being the little soldier any more. But who knows.

If it's at all possible, just stay away from all of them. You've got so much to look forward to and in the last few weeks it should be all about you. It sounds like you've got a lovely partner, who is looking after you and you don't need them in your life. Plus you don't need to be stressed.

I'd be really disgusted if a dog pissed on me, so you are welll within your rights to be pissed off!

Enjoy the last few weeks of your pregnancy and don't let them ruin it for you.....stay away!

Hope you're feeling better soon, try and get some sleep x

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Jan 4th, 2012, 20:29 PM   #4
I completely agree with Franna (how are you btw!), you don't need to be stressing over what happened and who said what etc because none of it will matter once your baby makes its appearance.

I wouldn't contact any of them, just enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. When you have been quiet for long enough your mum will contact you. My guess is she won't be able to stay away when the LO is born, and if she isn't don't stress, your lo will get enough love from you and OH and your dad
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Jan 4th, 2012, 21:39 PM   #5
Your bro and mum are both out of line. I've two dogs and I'd be absolutely disgusted if a dog peed on me! And I'd be so mortified if my dogs peed on anyone!

Sorry you're going through this Your mum is being mean tbh and obviously taking your bro's side for whatever reason. Maybe she'll wise up and apologise. She's gona miss out on so much when your LO arrives if she doesn't. Hope you can get it all sorted out and relax for the remainder of your pregnancy. x

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Jan 4th, 2012, 22:23 PM   #6
Has your mum even given a reason as to why she's not talking to you! I'd be disgusted if my brother acted like that then if my mum gave me the silent treatment I'd ignore her too.
Enjoy the time you have before LO arrives, I'm sure your mum will be in contact soon xx
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Jan 8th, 2012, 19:09 PM   #7
Since posting the initial thread there has been no change. If anything it has got worse. My mum is now asking my dad to move out as he hasn't turned his back on me like she wanted. My sister is trying to be diplomatic but it is upsetting her as she cannot get my mum to understand what she is doing to the family, neither of my aunties are speaking to my dad. It is horrible. Add to that my blood pressure is up so on weekly mw appointments now. Hopefully this week it will of dropped as i am now trying to take a step back from it all.

I have still had no contact nor explanation as to why she isn't speaking to me. My cousin mentioned to her mum about my blood pressure and she told my mum, but my mum still hasn't checked how i am. instead she rang my sister to see what was going on. My hurt is rapidly turning into anger no matter how hard i try not to let it.

Thankyou for the responses. i am now going to try to relax and enjoy my last 4 weeks before LO arrives
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Jan 10th, 2012, 11:51 AM   #8
Hope everything settles down for you soon
Just try and focus on your LO, thats all that matters x

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stressful, xmas

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