... well those of you who read my rant last night know that my OH has PMT right now, I think its the full moon!! But anyway, we were reading in bed last night and I was reading about birth plans and the first things it said was you should discuss with your OH whether he wants to be at the birth. Well I asked him rather sarcastically cos Ive assumed he would want to be there. Well he said 'ummm no!' Im not sure if he was joking or not so i said 'oh really where would you rather be?' and he said 'as far away as possible'.

So I just shut up and carried on reading. Then it says you should have a plan incase you need a caesarian and again the first queston was about OH being there. So I asked him again and he said "no, no man should have to see that" and i said "well I have to see it!" and he said something along the lines of I dont want to watch surgery, why do you want me to see that?

So I started qietly fuming, too tired to have a row. In the end I was so angry I couldnt sleep. How DARE he think about himself, surely if he loved me he would actually be concerned about me going through this and want to be by my side to make sure Im alright. Sometimes he says things that make me see who he really is and I think this is one of them. In the end I decided that if he ever needs to go into hosptal Im not gonna visit him. Im not gonna bring him anything he needs and Im certainly not holding his hand or finding out whats going on from the staff. The thing is, if he were in hospital he'd expect me by his bedside 24-7. He'd be pathetic.

Whats wrong with his empathy?! He has absolutely no concern for me giving birth and its probably the scariest thing about being a first time mum. He doesnt want to stick up for me, look after me, and all he's thinking about is how it will be for him. Im so angry Im thinking about not letting him come to the next scan in March. Although I probably will. And Ill probably end up looking after him and supporting him more than he does me.

I think he has a split personality, I really do.

 

 

oh dear! you have more patience than me i would have hit my hubbys arm called him an arse and told him he will be there and i dont give a f* what he says as he needs to see his baby come into the world omg i would have gone mad!!!!

 

I know, I think I would have but I just feel like, why should I bother pushing him into whats good for him. Its all I ever do is convince him to do things that are for his own benefit. With 'our' new house its actually mine, cos he refused to even look at the brochure and said its too much risk, he didnt want anything to do with it. So my parents had inheritance money and offered to help me out buying it cos it was such a bargain back in october. Nowi ts made 23k in value and we havent even moved in yet!

Well he loves it now and keeps moaning cos its not really his house. I just said 'I gave exactly what you wanted'. His mum even had the cheek to say "I think he's finding it hard cos you did it without him" so I told her straight, "I tried to get him to look with me and he refused point blank to have anything to do with it, he's been given exactly what he asked for and now he doesnt like it, its tough." that shut her up!

It was the same with moving to Cardiff so he could get a job, when we lived in deepest darkest wales. Took me ages to convince him to do it and now he says its the best thing he's ever done.

I dont see why I should argue with him about whats good for him. If he doesnt want to be there fine, he cant come running to me when he's gutted he's missed the birth of his first (and probably only if I have anything to do with it) child.

 

oh dear huin you have more patience than me i would have moved intio the house along hahahaha!!!! men ey!

 

I know, Im losing my patience right now. I have considered moving in alone, but when he hasnt got PMT he's fantastic. I think he thinks he can behave how he likes and I wont leave cos im pregnant. For all the help he's planning to be Id be better off without. He's useful for carrying things and changing lightbulbs though God Im having a right old bitch now.. Did cross my mind he might go on and read this. I dont really care though anymore. Im sick of being made to feel like he doesnt really care about how I feel. I wanna see some pasion from him, (not in the bedroom evie!) I mean defending me, maybe some jealousy, SOMETHING, to show he gives a shit.

 

hahaha!! i knew what you ment! lol!!

yer its nice to feel loved sometimes

 

Ah honey, I'd be fuming too! Sounds like he is just one of those men that needs some "gentle direction and persuasion" which is time-consuming BUT can be worked to your advantage at times It's tiring, though. My ex was a "persuader" of me and I hated him for it - as it turned out he was actually doing the opposite to you - and persuading me to do things because it worked out better for HIM in the long run, not both of us. Well rid of that one

I would try, in your situation, by making a scenario up for him to see how he'd react if it were HIM

i.e. "the doctor called. You have to have an operation. Do you want me to come to the hospital to visit you whilst you're there or should I just go shopping and spend all your money - and have a big slap-up meal with my friends"?

Might illicit a response from him... Sometimes you have to put THEM into the "situation" to see how they think they'd react...

Scare him. Go on, scare him. He needs a short, sharp shock, does this one

 

haha! I cried on him at lunchtime. I said I wasnt happy about being pregnant today cos I dont think I can do it. He gave me a hug and told me he knew I could do it and Ill be an excellent mum so I clarified, "no, I dont think I can do it alone". Well he said he was only joking (!) and he'd never leave me alone when Im giving birth. He said he's gonna support me all the way, but said he doesnt wanna actually see the gory bits, I said I wanted him at head end anyway, there will be enough attention on the action end from the staff, I need him at my head end to help me. SO we're agreed. He has such a sick sense of humour.

He couldnt beleive I believed him when he said he didnt want to be there. Ive lost sleep over this.

 

Aww glad its all sorted hun! My OH wouldnt dare joke bout anything atm lol i bite his head off over anything lol! x

 

I know, although I dont think its daring bravery so much as blind stupidity.

 

Glad its all sorted hun x

 

Men eh?! What are they like! Glad you got it sorted.
My OH keeps coming up with all these little jokes which AREN'T funny. His current is that he cant believe i'm not scared about the birth (well I am a little but i'm more worried about tearing, than the pain of the birth itself). But everytime he's like "I'd be sh*tting myself, could you imagine trying to fit a baby through such a small space. I couldn't do it." Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! You don't have to do it because you are a man and your life is EASY dipsh*t!! I cant wait to see the look on his face in Aug when he's covered in cuts and bruises from where i've clung on for dear life!! Haha! Xx