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Sunshine100
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Afraid of my husbands reaction to my pregnancy...

Dec 30th, 2016, 00:59 AM   #1
 
So... How can I tell my husband I am pregnant? We have three healthy, beautiful girls all ready. I really wanted another baby. I am very happy about this little one inside of me. However, my husband has expressed strong emotions about not having any more children. He is a good husband and a good father, I just don't know the best way to tell him. Any thoughts?
 
 
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kumber
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Dec 30th, 2016, 09:04 AM   #2
 
Get him drunk no, I've no clue sorry hun but congratulations on your bump!


 
 

 
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snowbee
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Dec 30th, 2016, 11:52 AM   #3
 
If he didn't want more children were you using contraception? If not just tell him as he must know there would be a chance of it happening. I wouldn't hide it or delay it as that may make him feel worse that you knew and he didn't.
 
 

 
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JulyBug
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Dec 30th, 2016, 14:02 PM   #4
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by snowbee View Post
If he didn't want more children were you using contraception? If not just tell him as he must know there would be a chance of it happening. I wouldn't hide it or delay it as that may make him feel worse that you knew and he didn't.
As snowbee said, if he felt that strongly he should had ensured protection was being used! lol..

With anything thats hard to say i find it easier to just get it out.. like ripping off a plaster, just blurt it out then it's out there!.. Good luck xxx
 
 

 
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JD.Deedee
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Dec 30th, 2016, 18:04 PM   #5
 
I don't think it's fair in any situation to trap a man into having another baby married or not. Young or old.. be prepared to live with your own consequences if he'd decided to leave you for this. Men are dumb when it comes to contraception so that's not a good enough excuse. My nan felt this way because in her perception she was the one doing all the work anyway. A family member of my oh has done so and is happy with his subsequent child now too and doesn't know it wasn't an accident as such. But eventually he can't turn round and say he doesn't want to look after the fourth, financially, mentally as it wouldn't be fair. Planning a baby really is something in my opinion you both decide on so that consequence could impact the first three kids too. It's entirely up to you what you do with your body just tell him when you are prepared to accept his response which could go either way, we don't know your husband like you do.


 
 
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ams25
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Dec 31st, 2016, 06:45 AM   #6
 
You didnt get Yourself pregnant Honey! If he was that adamant about no more babies then he should have had a vasectomy, everything else carries a very small risk of failure that both parties need to accept. I'd just come out with it but bear in mind he may well need a fee weeks to process it so don't expect him to be happy immediately, give him time. I'm sure once baby arrives he will fall in love with him or her xx

me and my hubby are on baby 3 which is planned but my hubby is also adamant this is our last... However he won't get the snip either. I'm prepared to try the coil but I have explained to him that if I don't get on with it then il be having it removed and he needs to realise that any other form of contraception is not 100% so it's his responsibly as much as mine.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JD.Deedee View Post
I don't think it's fair in any situation to trap a man into having another baby married or not. Young or old.. be prepared to live with your own consequences if he'd decided to leave you for this. Men are dumb when it comes to contraception so that's not a good enough excuse. My nan felt this way because in her perception she was the one doing all the work anyway. A family member of my oh has done so and is happy with his subsequent child now too and doesn't know it wasn't an accident as such. But eventually he can't turn round and say he doesn't want to look after the fourth, financially, mentally as it wouldn't be fair. Planning a baby really is something in my opinion you both decide on so that consequence could impact the first three kids too. It's entirely up to you what you do with your body just tell him when you are prepared to accept his response which could go either way, we don't know your husband like you do.

She didn't say anywhere that she'd trapped him?! We don't know the situation. Even if she *had* told him she was on the pill he still should have used condoms or had a little operation if he felt that strongly about no more kids, the pill isn't 100% foolproof xx
 
 

 
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JD.Deedee
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Dec 31st, 2016, 11:58 AM   #7
 
I never got pregnant on the pill in the entire 10 years I've had it! So that chance is really small when you take it properly if I'm honest i meant by trapping of not having him on board 100% and ttc without his knowledge as that is what I can make up from OP.. it's sad how the uk users have such a different opinion than the users from the forum I use in my native language.. whom all seem to feel it's out of order!


 
 
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Rose83
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Dec 31st, 2016, 18:13 PM   #8
 
I think you are mistaken, you have somehow read this as uk users saying it's fine to trap a man into having a child- no one has said that. Everyone apart from you has give the original poster the benefit of the doubt and assumed she means she accidentally got pregnant and is happy about it whereas her husband might not be. No where has she said she got pregnant on purpose.

I have friends and family who have legitimately been trapped into having a baby by women who have lied about contraception so I in no way would condone it. But I am prepared to assume this poster was not one of these types of women - perhaps you are more used to this sort of behaviour from your native country so jump to conclusions without knowing the circumstances.
 
 

 
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JD.Deedee
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Dec 31st, 2016, 19:20 PM   #9
 
In the OP it states I really wanted another baby and this behaviour has more been proven by my UK family than my native one...


 
 
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Blueclass
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Dec 31st, 2016, 21:58 PM   #10
 
Ok ladies let's calm down lol.

Sunshine be honest so we can clear this up..... you said you wanted another baby was you on anything to prevent pregnancy? If not and he knows you are not then what can he say... obviously if your having sex and not using anything there's a chance your get pregnant and he will have to deal with that. If you was and it is an accident then well it happens to some. If you got pregnant whilst trying without his knowledge then that's very different and bang out of order as when having a baby in my opinion should be something you both want, it's not all about you.

We don't know your story so I guess it's hard for us to say. I think you need to tell him asap. I wouldn't be impressed if it was the other way round and I knew you knew weeks before.

Good luck
 
 
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becsybabe
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Jan 1st, 2017, 10:12 AM   #11
 
With my first pregnancy I was on the pill and I fell pregnant all the professionals I spoke to all said it is more common than you think. I also fell pregnant with the cool fitted due to that slipping unfortunately that resulted in a ruptured ectopic. A friend of mine is also pregnant currently with her 4th and she was on the implant when she fell pregnant. So weather you are in the U.K. Or anywhere else it CAN happen unintended. Also my best friend fell pregnant with twins after using a condom. So it is possible condoms or any other protection was used but just failed. Orel that the original post was simply put up because she is wanting some support not to have someone sit there and slate her for something that could have been way out of her control... xx Sunshine congratulations on your bundle of joy I'm sure your husband will be over the moon once he has gotten over the shock of it good luck xx
 
 
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JD.Deedee
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Jan 1st, 2017, 10:56 AM   #12
 
It doesn't state anywhere it's out of her control or not.. just because you've been unlucky to experience a lot of failed contraception in 12+ years time it's been really rare to me and if I'm honest the only people that really have had it happen seem to be strangers on the internet..

Oh and btw, I was just highlighting the contrast of people reacting to the situation being different to my native country and the UK. I'm sure the percentage of failed contraceptives isn't bound to a specific county or not. Like here it's presumed it wasn't planned and it's due to failed contraceptives whereas my suspicion it isn't is due to the third sentence "I really wanted another baby"


 
 
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kumber
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Jan 1st, 2017, 11:41 AM   #13
 
Whether she purposefully got pregnant or not is nothing to do with you. She didn't ask for opinions on that, she asked opinions on how to tell her husband. If you don't have anything nice or constructive to say, don't say anything at all.


 
 

 
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Beckyb1991
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Jan 1st, 2017, 14:46 PM   #14
 
JD.deedee who the hell do you think you are talking to sunshine like that?! Whether she got pregnant on purpose or not its absolutely NOTHING to do with you. And if you get pissed off with us 'UK users' please do join a baby site where you can chat to your own 'native' people as you say! This is a UK site after all. Seriously the cheek on you is truly unbelievable!

Sunshine please try not to worry , he may be upset or even angry but it will only be temporary. He'll get over it and love the child just as much as your girls. I'm sorry you feel so anxious but the best thing to do is bote the bullet and tell him. Or maybe ease him into it and tell him youve been feeling unwell and suspect you may be pregnant and do a test together? Sending big hugs to you xxxx
 
 

 
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JD.Deedee
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Jan 1st, 2017, 16:59 PM   #15
 
God here it goes again, people proving they can't read being overly sensitive get going!
 
 
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