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Mayflower85
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Post natal depression

Jul 26th, 2018, 18:27 PM   #1
 
My friend has a 10 month old baby, and has recently been diagnosed with post natal depression. There's only a couple of months between our older kids, and a couple of months between our babies.

I'm at a bit of a loss as how to support her - she doesn't want to speak on the phone, texts are just a few short words, and she's reluctant to meet up or go anywhere.

I still message a couple of times a week just to show I'm around, but should I carry that on? Or just leave her alone until she's ready?
 
 
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Akua
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Jul 26th, 2018, 18:29 PM   #2
 
Definitely keep going! It’s nice for her to know you’re thinking of her and still there if she needs you, even if she might not feel like it right now.
 
 

 
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kanga86
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Jul 26th, 2018, 19:22 PM   #3
 
As someone who has suffered with pnd, definitely keep going with the messages it really will help her to know someone is thinking of her. Even if she isn't up for chatting much or seeing you, just keep trying, she will say yes at some point and the support until she is ready will really help. Even message even if she hasn't replied, it is so hard to ask for help or know what to say when you feel so down but that little bit of contact will be worth it xx

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Mayflower85
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Jul 26th, 2018, 19:36 PM   #4
 
I guess I'm just worried about making her feel pressured by texting and stuff, even though it's just general chat, asking how she is, asking how the kids are etc.
 
 
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Akua
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Jul 26th, 2018, 19:43 PM   #5
 
Maybe try not to focus it so much on questions. Like send her something funny that happened in your day or ‘me and the kids made cupcakes, do you want me to drop some round?’ If it’s just a memory or an anecdote there’s not such a pressure to reply
 
 

 
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kanga86
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Jul 26th, 2018, 19:57 PM   #6
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Akua View Post
Maybe try not to focus it so much on questions. Like send her something funny that happened in your day or ‘me and the kids made cupcakes, do you want me to drop some round?’ If it’s just a memory or an anecdote there’s not such a pressure to reply
Good ideas Akua xx
 
 

 
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Mayflower85
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Jul 26th, 2018, 20:32 PM   #7
 
Thank you x
 
 
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lilacdoll
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Jul 27th, 2018, 07:44 AM   #8
 
Don't stop from making your physical presence known, even subtly. If she looks like she needs some alone time, then let her but do not abandon. Maybe you could go over her house and help a bit with the chores if you have spare time. Oh and play aunty with her kids.
 
 
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DeeDeeAbi
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Jul 30th, 2018, 22:26 PM   #9
 
I had pnd this time around and I definitely appreciated friends messaging me, even just to laugh about something silly they'd seen on TV or whatever!
I found headspace app helped a bit when feeling really down XX
 
 
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candymycandy
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Aug 3rd, 2018, 23:18 PM   #10
 
Yeah I agree as above.

Keep on messaging her, keep asking her if she needs anything etc. She’ll appreciate knowing you care and when she’s ready she’ll know you’ll be there.

My friend would often text silly stuff or Just a message to say she was thinking of me and there was no need to reply if I wasn’t up to it.

Do you know if she’s getting help? X
 
 

 
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