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Lollypop79
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Limbo

Sep 24th, 2018, 00:25 AM   #1
 
Hey

So I guess I belong here at the mo. Never thought something like this would actually happen. Foolish I know.
Iím 38 and got BFP on the 30th August. Had spotting so ended up getting an early scan they said the sac was 2 mm but didnít look right. Hcg levels were 2305 first draw. Second draw only 2799. They have told me it doesnít look good. Which the doctor kept saying and that I will miscarry. Ectopic ruled out.
Iíve had very light spotting off and on and no pain. Symptoms have pretty much gone. They will scan again on 1st October.

I just feel heartbroken and lost. Iím stuck in this limbo of waiting to start bleeding and iím scared. Iím jealous of my pregnant friends and I feel awful for that. Iím angry that the doctor said itís just cells.

We are gonna try again but iím scared of that and I just wish I wasnít stuck in this hell.
Iím sorry to moan. I just donít know who to talk too. No one seems to know what to say to me.
And they are keeping their distance. My fiancť is amazing though. It kills me to see him so sad.
 
 
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night owl
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Sep 24th, 2018, 14:16 PM   #2
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lollypop79 View Post
Hey

So I guess I belong here at the mo. Never thought something like this would actually happen. Foolish I know.
Iím 38 and got BFP on the 30th August. Had spotting so ended up getting an early scan they said the sac was 2 mm but didnít look right. Hcg levels were 2305 first draw. Second draw only 2799. They have told me it doesnít look good. Which the doctor kept saying and that I will miscarry. Ectopic ruled out.
Iíve had very light spotting off and on and no pain. Symptoms have pretty much gone. They will scan again on 1st October.

I just feel heartbroken and lost. Iím stuck in this limbo of waiting to start bleeding and iím scared. Iím jealous of my pregnant friends and I feel awful for that. Iím angry that the doctor said itís just cells.

We are gonna try again but iím scared of that and I just wish I wasnít stuck in this hell.
Iím sorry to moan. I just donít know who to talk too. No one seems to know what to say to me.
And they are keeping their distance. My fiancť is amazing though. It kills me to see him so sad.
So sorry lollypop, I know what an awful experience it is, I suppose lots of women think it will never happen to them but it actually is very common, some doctors just see it as part and parcel of the reproductive process so can be very insensitive about it

Itís the being in limbo bit which i found the hardest, I found out when I was supposed to be over 10 weeks pregnant that I only had an empty gestational sac, after having a bit of spotting starting at 10 weeks, so I just had to wait either 2 weeks for a d&c as they wouldnít do one incase I had got my dates wrong (even though I knew I hadnít), or just wait for the bleeding to start, I was terrified of what it was going to be like to happen naturally but it was such a relief when it did, I just got some huge sanitary towels and a load of painkillers and a hot water bottle and stayed in bed!

Donít be hard on yourself for finding it hard to be around pregnant people, and you are not moaning at all what you are going through is hard and you are entitled to be sad about it and avoid people who you need to avoid until you feel better, I hope it resolves quickly so you can start trying again that was the only thing which kept me going at the time was having something to look forward to and focus on xx
 
 
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Lollypop79
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Sep 24th, 2018, 14:56 PM   #3
 
Thank you night owl. That’s what i’m struggling with. The waiting. I know it’s going to end in miscarriage but the waiting just dragging. Days are like twice as long. I need some closure and i’m looking to trying again. It is keeping me going and giving me something to work towards. I really appreciate your response.
 
 
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LucyR
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Sep 24th, 2018, 21:26 PM   #4
 
So sorry for your loss it’s the worst when a professional gives such heartless remarks I remember going to my doctors with my first miscarriage and she was like yeah don’t worry just treat it like a late period. I understand that they must see it all the time because how common it is but it’s not common when your going through it xx
 
 
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Lollypop79
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Sep 24th, 2018, 22:46 PM   #5
 
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So sorry for your loss itís the worst when a professional gives such heartless remarks I remember going to my doctors with my first miscarriage and she was like yeah donít worry just treat it like a late period. I understand that they must see it all the time because how common it is but itís not common when your going through it xx
No itís not. They must see it all the time become immune and probably donít realise being so matter of fact can be so harsh. Thank you.
 
 
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ABC237
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Oct 2nd, 2018, 20:56 PM   #6
 
Lollypop, how are you doing? Thought if you today, did you have the re-scan? X
 
 
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Lollypop79
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Oct 4th, 2018, 12:35 PM   #7
 
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Originally Posted by ABC237 View Post
Lollypop, how are you doing? Thought if you today, did you have the re-scan? X
Hi

Yeah I did. Got the scan on Monday. Unfortunately the sac was empty. I should have been 8-9 weeks by then. They say it stopped growing before that. Sac was very small. The did a
Eprc or d&c yesterday. Was in all day. Got back home about 9pm. I’m ok. Sore and teary.
I’m scarred it will happen again. We are going to try after my next period. Thanks for asking xx
 
 
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chattychar1990
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Oct 4th, 2018, 12:37 PM   #8
 
So sorry to hear this
Good luck and baby dust for your next cycle
 
 
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Lollypop79
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Oct 4th, 2018, 12:42 PM   #9
 
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Originally Posted by chattychar1990 View Post
So sorry to hear this
Good luck and baby dust for your next cycle
Thankyou. Xx
 
 
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ABC237
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Oct 4th, 2018, 16:04 PM   #10
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lollypop79 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by ABC237 View Post
Lollypop, how are you doing? Thought if you today, did you have the re-scan? X
Hi

Yeah I did. Got the scan on Monday. Unfortunately the sac was empty. I should have been 8-9 weeks by then. They say it stopped growing before that. Sac was very small. The did a
Eprc or d&c yesterday. Was in all day. Got back home about 9pm. Iím ok. Sore and teary.
Iím scarred it will happen again. We are going to try after my next period. Thanks for asking xx
Iím so sorry for your loss lovely. Look after yourself. Xxx
 
 
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