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MrsHills
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Join Date: Apr 2017
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do i have antenatal depression?

Jun 30th, 2017, 09:15 AM   #1
 
Hi guys,
Sorry I don't know if this is the right place to be writing this I just need someone to talk to......
I am 30 weeks pregnant and for the past 2 months I have been feeling really down and all I seem to do is cry. I know that it is normal to be tearful when you are pregnant but its literally all the time. I lost my mum when I was 9 years old and I feel like I cant really speak to anyone else about this apart from my husband.
It first started a couple of months ago, I was working in a pub where my 'stepmum' also started working after me, as soon as I got pregnant she started giving me greif saying that I was taking too much time off for hospital appointments (I'm high risk so have had a lot) and generally trying to make me feel guilty about the whole thing, she is also very jealous of my mother in law as we are really close so I cant do anything with her without my stepmum kicking off. Then long story cut short the final straw for me was that she came into the pub one day when I was working and came behind the bar and got in my face trying to intimidate me.
Knowone was there at the time so it was my word against hers, I told my bosses but nothing was done about it and they still expected me to work with her, so in the end I felt like I had no other choice but to leave my job, which I was devastated about.
Ever since then I have been feeling really down, going from such a social job to then sitting at home by myself most days is a shock tot he system! Knowone ever comes to see me, and I find myself just doing house work all day waiting for my husband to get home! I feel like this has really affected me and my mental state! I cry every day pretty much!
There are also other things that are getting me down too........
I have put on so much weight being pregnant, I feel so unattractive and discusting, I don't feel like my husband is attracted to me anymore, I ask him and of coarse he says he is but I don't feel like he is! We havnt had sex in months!
I don't know just at the moment I feel like I don't have much of a purpose apart from carrying around our little baby.
I know that should be enough, and of coarse I am really really excited about her arriving and I know my life is going to change for the better, I just cant help feeling down and lonely at the moment and its really getting to me! I talk to my husband about how I'm feeling all the time and he does what he can to make me feel better bless him but he doesn't understand why I'm so down when I should be excited about baby. I feel guilty I'm feeling this way.
I don't know if this just my hormones and I'm overthinking everything or If I should speak to my midwife about it at my next appointment? Sorry for the essay xx
 
 
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KHTW
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Jun 30th, 2017, 12:58 PM   #2
 
I am really sorry you feel this way

Your step-mum sounds like (sorry) a real b**ch! I think you made the right call to quit your job and not have her to deal with everyday.

I remember being 30 weeks and working - my biggest dream was to be at home and do NOTHING. So maybe you could take advantage of having this time to yourself cause trust me, as soon as the baby comes it will be all about him/her.
You could maybe start with a nice and long walk in the morning - that could give you a boost of energy and will also benefit the baby (nothing better then some fresh air).

If you are the type of person that enjoys company of others why not look for a yoga classes for mummies-to-be or aqua-natal classes? You get to exercise and talk to other mummies.

And talk to your OH, even if he doesn't seem to understand, it helps just to get it off your chest.

Finger crossed you feel better very soon xx
 
 

 
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MrsHills
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Jun 30th, 2017, 14:24 PM   #3
 
Thank you! its just nice to get some advice from other mummies! Yeah she is a complete bitch! I moved in with her when I was 9, unfortunately I had lost both my parents by then! I put up with her crap for 18 years of my life! I am just at the end of my tether with it all now, especially because very soon there is going to be a baby involved too! So I have now told her I do not want anything at all to do with her anymore!
Honestly I cannot wait for our little one to get here and take up all my time! I am completely lost at the moment, we have literally just moved so I have been busy decorating and unpacking but I still feel very lonely. I will have to have a look online at any local anti natal classes I can go and meet people at.
x
 
 
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KHTW
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Jul 3rd, 2017, 08:30 AM   #4
 
That's why this forum is so great! Next time, I would say post in the 'Pregnancy Chat' or in one of trimesters section as people visit them way more often than this one and you will get a lot of nice and helpful responses.

I am really sorry about your parents

Soon enough you will receive the greatest gift that life can give. I know it sounds cheesy but it is SO true! This little person is going to turn your life upside down in the best possible way!

It's good that you have all the planning and decorating to occupy you mind. Have you decided on the nursery yet? Do you know if you are having a boy or a girl or is it a surprise?

Yes, definitely check the classes to get you out of the house for a bit
 
 

 
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