Depression support thread

Great thread toon.
I first had depression when I was 16 as I had to watch my mum dying. After that I became very dependant on my (ex)bf as a distraction, and then when he dumped me I went off the walls for a bit.

I dn't think I've told any of you this, but with my daughter, I didn't know I was pregnant until I was 7 months pregnant and just freaked out. I told no one I was pregnant and asked for her to be adopted. I was okayish (in denial) until she was born - I asked for her to still go to foster care, but I kept changing my mind on if she should be adopted, was on antidepressants. Was in a very very low place for about 4 mths, and then kicked myself when the air started to clear, told the ss I had def changed my mind, told my family, her dad etc. Believe me I regret it so much, I still saw her at least 5 times a week, but it wasn't the same, and shes been back with me since she was 8 mths old.
Half way through this pregnancy I started getting depressed again, but told noone, but it really kicked in when my son was 2days old and just hasn't gone. I'm now on mild antidepressants for the depression and anxiety/panic attacks.
I think depression runs in my family, as my dad has bouts, and when I was 18 I found my nan after she had a mental breakdown and tried to commit suicide.
I hate being depressed, because I want to enjoy every minute with my son (particulaly because I went back to uni 2 weeks ago) but I feel a lot better, not normal, but better on the antidepressants.
I hate the stigma attached to mental health, but am glad I am very aware of it from other things in my family
xxx

aww sorry to hear your having a bad time with depression its not a nice thing to have ive had it also since i was 9 i first started having it due to when my cousin died i was very close to him and died at the age of 13 in a freak accident i was there the whole time and seen it happen my cousin what they call bonnet surfing on the car and fallen off due to my step uncle increase speeding in the car. in the emd i still blame him if he never moved him and waited for the ambulance he would of been alive today. i also suffered depression due to an ex who beat me up all the tym then my nana and granda whom brought me up from a baby died then it cam back with avenges 8 year ago where i had a still born full term after that i ended up drink a lot but then got help and back on my feet as i ended up in hospital a few times i still have a mild depression but it will be controlled all the tym now some days i have really bad days and i have good days too. its good to tell some one about your probs because people can understand you better and how your feeling even try to help you.

It's great that people are sharing! Sometimes putting your feelings down can can help.

I'm not great at the moment, hit a low again. I don't want to go to sleep on a night because I know once I wake up it will be a new day that I will have to face and get through! Despite having the kids, OH, family and friends I feel so alone I have no energy or willingness to do anything. I hate my existance right now xx

*hugs* sorry you're feeling so crappy toon. I get worried about if or when I'll crash again! I deal with things much better than I did but who knows what will happen in the future.

Do you find anything helps toon?

X x x x

I feel for you Toon. Have you spoken to anyone about it? Sometimes it can help although I know myself how hard it is to make that first step xxx

Pinky, I so know what you mean about wondering when your next "crash" will be.
Toon, I can't remember if you said if you had spoken to your gp/hv or not? If you haven't try to. I know from experience that they don't always listen, but persist. You do sound really low at the moment hun, r u able to talk to ur partner or any family about it? Just so they are more aware of your feelings and so on
Take care honey and message me if u ever wana chat xx

Hi girls,
I grew up with my mum having depression and found out my oh's mum has lived with it too. I now work in older people's mental health and I believe we are all on a sliding scale of mood and all have the potential to be very well, very unwell, or somewhere in between. Having Ross has just reminded me how fragile our mental health can be and how much we have to deal with. Problem is babies then tend to take priority over everything, look after yourselves and remember you are important too!

Hi Girls,

this is a great thread I suffered quite badly with depression as a teenager due to bullying at two different schools i was cutting myself and drinking I ended up seeing a child Psychologist for about a year, she really helped me get through things and i was able to go out again and be a teenager although I never went back to school so I dont have any qualifications I still have a good job now I still have ups and downs but I dont let it take hold of me anymore and I think the counselling really helped me I would recommended it to anyone! hope all you girls are ok x

Hope everyone is feeling ok today

I know i should go back to my doctor and tell him i am no better and i really need my thyroid levels checking but making the trip to the doctors is such a pain in the ass with the kids. Then i would need another apointment for my blood test, then another apointment for the results, urghhhh such a faff! I have run out of all my pills but again its a pain in the ass getting them. I have to put my repeat in, pick it up the next day then trail to the chemist for the tablets. I know it all sounds so simple and i suppose it is but i feel so low that i cant motivate myself to do it, plus the kids get well cranky being messed about put in and out the car xx

Hi Toon my mum has under active thyroid and sometimes she lets her tablets run out but it makes her soo down she gets really depressed about everything and I know and she knows that its because she needs those tablets!!! i know it must be a pain with the little ones but you will feel so much better when you have them and if your dose needs changing then you will feel even better once you have them ! xxx

toon I know what you mean, just popping to the shops is such a mission. some pharmacies do a prescription delivery service for free, a possibility

youve had a tough time anyway recently, look after yourself xxx

to everyone

I really don't even know how to start this, not something i ever really talk about i just try and hide it. I've been Self harming since the age of 11 on and off nothing really that bad but the bullying kind of got to me and that lasted till three years ago where my Dad almost died for 8 months he was in and out of hospital and i bottled everything up and everything went downhill from there but still i hid everything i was self harming everyday and was struggling to hide the cuts. Then March the year after I was sexualy abused by one of my soo called friends, from then on i was forced into counceling i put myself on a sevearly calorie restricted diet, was Self harming everyday and i tried to Od twice. That lasted till December 09 where i tried to get my self out of that cycle and i've only sh'd once or twice sinse then. No one knows how i feel now im trying to be strong for my baby but everything is soo much effort, i have no friends no one to talk to and everything is just getting on top of me... i really dont want to go back to the way i was ....

so thats me

Monkei, I'm glad you shared that.
Have u ever spoken to anyone about the abuse and bullying?
Please speak to your doctor, he would be able to give u some tablets to help you lift your mood in the short term, but to also refer u for CPU selling or something as tablets won't fix the feelings related to the past things, but speaking to someone might help you come to terms with it.
How's ur dad now?
I hope it ok hun
X

CPU selling was meant to say counselling! X

I gave up on councellors i've had ummm 5 different ones the first left, second left, third left, fourth told me everything was my fault and 5th she sent me a letter saying that i needed to talk to her about the abuse and i couldn't yet i'd only been seeing her 2 weeks. The Doctors last year said i didnt need meds because i seemed happy, i dont think he realises that some days are worst than others.

Thanks for replying xx