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May 14th, 2008, 00:38 AM   #16
My son is terrible!

Once on the bus, he started telling a man about my ex Stuart: ' Mom used to have a boyfriend named Stuart. They had an argument and now he hates her'

(This relationship was long past. Stu was in the army in Germany)

Then he went on to say: 'She now has a boyfriend named Ian. And Alex lives with us'

(Alex is my brother)

I tried to explain to the man, as I felt like a raging slag....'You don't need to explain your love life to me sweetheart' was his response. The smug look on his face made me realise he had not belived a word I had said!

I am lucky I am black, as I would have blushed the colour of beetroot. I could have died

Even now, he tells people about Stuart. If me and OH split up, I think I will remain single to maintain some dignity!!

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May 14th, 2008, 08:54 AM   #17
Originally Posted by Kylie1007
When I was on my teaching practice, one thing that stands out is a 9/10 yr old child asking how to spell f**k!!! WHAT???!!!
She said "I know how to spell Nor...but don't know to spell f**k."
Lol. My ex's auntie is a primary school teacher and once she showed us a note she'd caught a 10 YEAR OLD boy passing to a girl. It read, 'Please will you go out with me? All the mother-f***ing love in the world, Ben xx'

How romantic!
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May 14th, 2008, 09:09 AM   #18
My son reckons that i will only be able to breast feed if its a girl as boys dont have boobs ???? Logic
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May 21st, 2008, 21:31 PM   #19
Originally Posted by chickadee1976
My son reckons that i will only be able to breast feed if its a girl as boys dont have boobs ???? Logic
that really cracked me up for some reason
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May 21st, 2008, 21:38 PM   #20
hehe i cant wait for hayden to say some really funny stuff to me-
mind you hes pretty entertaining now the other day i was on the phone and he said "mumma i'm making din dins" i asked what he was making and he said "pizza" bless him i found that nice because hes not long been talking in proper full sentences so its a novelty!
but he said something that cracked me up the other day- every morning he says to me "wheres dadda, dadda gone work" hes began using that as a way to explain everyones absence ie "nannas at work" round my mums i said to him wheres trixie (the cat) he looked under the table and didn't see her so announced "trixies gone to work" the image of the cat on the building sight cracked me up!!
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May 22nd, 2008, 12:42 PM   #21

A couple of weeks ago I picked up my friends daughter from school (shes 10) we were walking back and I asked her what she had for lunch.
Her answer was, I didnt have lunch today, I felt really sick after sex on location.
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May 30th, 2008, 21:25 PM   #22
Vic (nine and three quarters) - has just had sex ed at school and has announced to me that he intends to adopt kids when he is big - the "other way " is digusting! I will remind him when he is ooooooooooh 19?

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Jun 30th, 2008, 19:25 PM   #23
My wee guy who is 6 & 1/2 was having a sleepover at his grannies. He was sat on her knee before bedtime and my mum was telling him, that she was my mummy and how i came out of her tummy.....to which he replied " I know you are my mummies mummy but she didnt come out of your tummy granny.....she came out of your Beegina!! "

My mum went and didnt have a clue what to say to him!! lol
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Jul 13th, 2008, 14:08 PM   #24
I think Isaac's funniest has to be when he watched the advert for microwave rice. He looked at me and said "are you joking me"! It was funny because he said it in the same accent as the lady on the advert
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Jul 13th, 2008, 16:08 PM   #25
Originally Posted by elaine22
'Please will you go out with me? All the mother-f***ing love in the world, Ben xx'

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Jul 14th, 2008, 11:49 AM   #26
My brother is 17 and has said some hilarious stuff in his time!!

Just a couple that my Mum usually embarassed him with;

When I sang with the choir at school we had to sing at church one Sunday (none of us are religious so it was a first time we were in a church) and my brother (who was about 6 at the time) started to kick the pews(sp?) and whisper (really loudly) "This is booooooooring" and "I can't sit on this hard bench for much longer" anyway, my Mum nipped his leg and whispered for him to shut up because people were enjoying the music and this was "God's House" and all that. And he shouted "OUCH!! Well I don't think God would be very happy that you're pinching me!!"

Another time, he was 11 and joined the local football team and they needed proof of age, Mum said she'd have to copy his birth certificate and he said "oh don't worry, I'll just show them a birthday card from when I was 11" lol!!

The classic though was last week when my best friend took her son to the doctors (he's only a few weeks old but she took me along to help look after her very adventurous 3 - nearly 4 - year old daughter). She's always asking questions and there was a little boy (must have been about 1) with his Mum. He had a hair lip(sp?) and she quietly asked her Mum what was wrong with him. She just said "don't stare Madison, he was just born that way but he's every bit as special as you are" -
Madison edged over to the toy section just staring at this little boy and after me and Gem sat there terrified incase she said something, she said to the little boy's Mum "I like your baby's lip" The Mum was great and found it very funny, but OMG we criiiiiinged!!

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Jul 14th, 2008, 20:41 PM   #27
My 10yo has recently been doing sex ed at school and one day he came home and when I asked him what he'd learnt that day he said "well mum your eggs come out of your overalls and they go down the ethiopian tubes!" at least it proves he was trying to listen I guess

Sarah xxx
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Jul 18th, 2008, 23:39 PM   #28
A Take That video came on the TV, an old one. I said to Charlie that song came out when I was 16. She asked if that was why the video was in black and white!
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Jul 18th, 2008, 23:51 PM   #29
My neice Sophia (age 8) along with her younger sister Alyssa (age 6) have worked out where babies come from.
Prepare yourself for this, it amazed me!

Depending on whether the woman has an innie or an outie (belly button), depends on whether she's had a baby.
Innie means no baby, outie therefore means baby.
But, if you have more than one baby born at a time (i.e twins +), your belly button goes out, then back in!
Aparently, mine's done that, when it never went "out" in the first place, always had an innie

It was so funny at the time, you may not find it as hilarious as me and my family did.
One of those funny things where you had to be there
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Jul 19th, 2008, 01:31 AM   #30
I was sat on the toilet and Seren (who has got an interest in all things toilet related) said "are you having a wee mummy?". I said I was to which she replied "well done mummy, well done". I got off lightly though as whenever her dad is upstairs she shouts "Pete, are you having a poo?"
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