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PF Savvy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Pembrokeshire
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6 year olds

Jan 23rd, 2015, 22:10 PM   #1
I don't even know how to put this, but my step son, who is 6, turns 7 in May has always in mine and my husbands eyes been 'babied' at his mums place.

I've known him since he was 2 years old. He couldn't talk properly till he was about 5, he had speech therapy in school etc which did help.

I just wondering what was 'normal' for a 6 year old? We're not judging him etc, but has my husbands first, and we only have a 7 month old together, im not sure what he should or not be doing at this age =)

He cant use a knife and fork, he uses a fork when he can be bothered and needs his all his food cut up including potatoes etc.
he cant tie his shoe laces
He still says baba, botbot..
he doesn't know the days of the week or any sense of time.
He seems to have a huge ego (not sure if to call it that) when he has a friend over, if he wins at a game. he will tell his friend in his face about 10 times.. I won that game, I won I did, did u see I won, because I beat u didn't I, did u see, I won.
This is how it will go on till the end of the next game, and his friends get really annoyed, we've tried explaining that it can be annoying to his friends etc but he wont stop. He pretty much speaks like that the majority of the time.

Hes a lovely boy, very well behaved etc.. Im not sure where other 6/7 year olds are at?

When do children stop saying mummy and daddy and go to mum/dad
or being cuddled and tucked up in bed
when do they tie their own shoe laces and make their own drinks?

My husband is clueless and we carry on as usual, im sure with my LO we'll work all this out, but with my step son as we only have him once a week its more difficult to figure it all out.

Anyone able to help me out as in what their children are doing/were doing at that age? =) x

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Sep 16th, 2015, 15:41 PM   #2
I don't think there are any rights or wrongs. My daughter is 6 and will be 7 in November but she is very independent for her age compared to her friends. (I think because we don't baby her and she has 2 older half sisters)

She eats by herself and has done since about 4, gets herself dressed in the mornings and does her own teeth, she doesn't use any baby talk, she refers to us part of the time as mom and dad and partly mommy and daddy, she can tell the time and knows days of week etc but there are some kids in her class that don't, the ego thing is quite normal judging some of the other kids in my daughter's class especially if they've been a bit spoilt at home. I still tuck her in at night with a drink and give her a kiss (I have no plans to stop that anytime soon) She makes herself a drink of milk or squash sometimes but sometimes I do it. It varies from child to child and most of it is prompted by the parents.

For example, when they start tying their own shoes depends on when somebody teaches them to and if they are interested enough to pay attention. When they make their own drinks depends on whether they are capable, have been shown what to do and are allowed. He may be babied at home (and my step daughters were too) and sometimes boys are slower than girls with development but that doesn't mean you can't teach him things when he stays with you.

Generally if he is mainly with his mum you should try and follow a similar routine for him at yours but there are no rules. If he is interested in something teach him about it or let him try it (assuming you are comfortable with it) What you can't do though is expect him to take himself off to bed without a cuddle if the other 6 nights of the week he's put to bed by his mum. He won't know what is going on and it could upset him. (Plus, why wouldn't you want to tuck him in and gice him a cuddle anyway?) You need to try and understand his home routine and at least loosely follow it but you need to judge based on his capabilities and personality. It's something you have to follow your instincts with and it can be very frustrating if the mum is doing things at a slower pace than you would like but if she's the main carer its kind of tough really. There were lots of things with my step daughters that I wouldn't chose to do but I had to because that was how their main carer did it and it's not fair to confuse them. Sometimes you'll have to grit your teeth but he won't stay a baby forever and before you know it will soon be doing lots more. Being at school will help him a lot.

Hope that helped xx
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Oct 2nd, 2015, 19:36 PM   #3
I think the only things that stand out to me as odd there are not being able to use a knife and fork and not knowing the days of the week really, I think most children can do those things by that age but then again I could be wrong!xo

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Oct 25th, 2015, 07:07 AM   #4
My son is 7 in December. He is very bright top of his class or near there in reading and maths and teacher told me last week if he took the new sat test today he would probably pass when it's his time he will be doing the higher paper. Now I'm not saying that to brag I'm just giving some background. As parents we don't baby him but I guess being the only child of two only children grandparents spoil him.

That being said he is the most stubborn s.o.b. (hmm that's an insult to me really isn't it lol) you will ever meet! He wouldn't really talk until the age of three because it wasn't in his interest his first word was "cat" but because the cat didn't then go to him I didn't hear it again for 18 months! He had a few words juice car etc (we live by a main road he obviously thought it was him making cars appear lol) and until speach theropy he was well behind the curve for talking .
Now he's talking like a radio talk show host and won't shut up. Ever. Lol even in his sleep! He doesn't use baby words though we don't allow that.

He can't use a knife and fork. We have tried oh how we have tried he's on school dinners to try and give him some motivation to want to do it. With my lad if it doesn't make things easier he won't do it. He uses a fork ok but the knife is well... needs improvement shall we say lol.

He never crawled (or if he did it was less than a week of it) crawling was too inefficient he rolled over and within a week he was up and walking at around 10 months old.

He doesn't tie his own laces now this is our fault really. There are no children in his class that have tied shoe laces and when we ask him to choose school shoes the lace up ones are just not as nice as the velcro ones. When he wants some trainers or shoes with laces or other people start with that then we will too.

He knows the days of the week and the months of the year (though insists that after December and before January comes the month of "Christmas" lol. He can tell the time on both digital and analogue clocks. Better than me. I struggle with analogue due to my dyslexia.

He still gets cuddles and a story read to him at bedtime but then he gets a certain amount of "reading time" depending on how well behaved he has been through the day. Then he puts himself to bed.

He still has trouble toilet wise. He's never had a dry night bar one week he had an alarm mat on before that stopped working it just put him into a deeper sleep instead lol. And recently we had a bout of "I'd rather carry on what I'm doing and poop myself because going to the to loo takes too long". Until we made it worth his while to go. (Sitting still doing nothing for 10 mins far longer than it would have took to go to the loo!) And now that's sorted.

Ego wise he's sometimes like that sometimes not depends on the situation and company.

Boys tend to develop slower than girls I've been told almost every time I've raised the issue but there has to be some motivation on the child's behalf to want to do the things.

I hope that helps.

Edit. He still says mummy and daddy but we encourage that I'm not ready to be "mum" yet occasionally he called me mum and I'm like oh really but his friends at school it's always bens mum joes mum Sarahs dad. Apart from when he told us the sad news of "Katies daddy died"

Drinks wise he is perfectly capable of making his own drinks but he can't reach the tap for cordial etc and I don't think my kitchen is the safest place for his spiderman impressions lol. (We have a step for baking but it gets tidied away most the time.)

P.s. so sorry for the long post!!!!

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