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Join Date: May 2014
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Coming into my bed at night

May 31st, 2014, 15:37 PM   #1
Hi. My almost 3 year old and my 4 year old often come into my bed at night. Although I love cuddling with them, I would like this to stop.
They both understand my telling them at bedtime that they must remain in their own bed... but ... my daughter wakes up and comes to my bed and wakes me up. If I take her back to her bed, she just doesn't seem to fall asleep again. Lying cramped next to her in her bed for almost an hour each time.. Kills my back, so I end up taking her to my bed, where she is asleep in seconds. My 4 year old son is as quiet as a mouse and I don't even hear him getting into my bed. I only know he is there if the 2 of them start fighting over who gets to lie next to me or when I wake up in the morning.
I have a reward chart going at the moment and this is one of the items on it. They love getting a star if they stay in their bed all night. But I think both of them have only remained in their own beds once this week.
Any ideas please?
Thanks. xxx
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May 31st, 2014, 15:52 PM   #2
I havnt been there myself

But surely having abit of perseverance for the week would help ?! Giving in and taking her to your bed will not encourage her to stop? I know it's easy for me to say when it's the middle of the night etc but sometimes it's for the greater good long term ?

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May 31st, 2014, 16:33 PM   #3
I do try, but I have a bad back and lying with her in her bed - only thing that will give me a chance of getting her back to sleep in her own bed, so staying for there too long just doesn't work for me. Argh.... I think some tough love is needed - like you say a week and hopefully thats it xxx
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Sep 16th, 2015, 16:02 PM   #4
I had the same issue, mainly caused by me letting her sleep with me when she was younger and then it was a nightmare to stop. I loved the cuddles though so don't regret it My daughter was around the same age and still intermittently coming into my bed at 2am/3am if she woke up. We started a reward chart for her sleeping in her own bed with a treat at the weekend if she managed 3/4 nights. It worked sometimes but she would still sometimes come and get in. Unfortunately all you can do is persevere with it. When she was a baby I rocked her and then I ended up having to lie in bed with her to get her to sleep but eventually I stopped getting in and would sit by the side of the bed instead (takes them some getting used to) and then you gradually stop doing that aswell until they don't need you with them to sleep.

I work full time so I was guilty of being tired and it was too much effort to get up and put her back to bed so I just let her in. Naturally they will stop anyway, my daughter now is too big (at 6 nearly 7) to comfortably sleep in bed with us and gets too hot so hates it (result!!) She also doesn't want to sleep with us anymore. She goes to sleep by herself (I tuck her in obviously first) and if she wakes up in the night will take herself off to the bathroom if needed and then get back into bed and sleeps in her own bed all night. I honestly thought we would never get there!! Just keep persevering, unfortunately sometimes we create a rod for our own backs but it doesn't last forever I will definitely try and avoid that one if I manage to get pregnant again!!

Good luck xx
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Nov 8th, 2015, 23:24 PM   #5
I have a 4yr old that sneaks in every night
My hubby is in the spare room as I am pregnant and his snoring keeps me awake, son is so quiet I often dont know he is there til the morning, I need it to stop as hubby will be back in soon and we also want him to get used to staying in his own bed before baby arrives

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bed, coming, night

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