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my 6yr old thinking shes 16!!....

Oct 16th, 2012, 11:21 AM   #1
my darling 6yr old daughter has developed a huge additude problem
i know all kids go thru a stage and i know they like to push things with you wen they see there friends acting a certian way but....i jus cant take it no more and with being only a few weeks away from giving birth im worried i wont be able to kick it in the butt before new baby arrives and ill struggle

for instance ill ask her to do a simple task such as change from her uniform afterschool and the reply i get..."in a minute" so i say no now she replies "no"
so i end up putting her on naughty step for not listening and being rude n while she is on it she will scream at the top of her voice..."i dont care that u put me here, i hate you, u always tell me what to do, i want a new mum etc etc etc

(very heartbreaking to hear...we are usually very close....had me in tears the other day)

dinner time is a nightmare! she will make excuses to get from the table and takes up to an hour to eat then will moan that its cold n throw a tantrum and ends up with her in her room screaming

naughty step doesnt seem to be working anymore, ive tried reward charts, treats etc i dunno what else to do.

dont get me wrong she is usally very well behaved but went to a friends house after school and came back like this

really dont wanna have to be dealing with this and a newborn baby!!!


any suggestions ladies? XX

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Oct 17th, 2012, 08:43 AM   #2
She must be aware of the little ones arrival soon and my guess is she is feeling a little insecure. My son was only 2 1/2 when my second son arrived and it didn't affect him but when my second son was 6 and I was expecting my little girl he really acted up towards the end of my pregnancy. His attitude stunk, he was cheeky and naughty all the time and the naughtier he was the more I fussed over him and reassured him that he was still my baby boy and I loved him millions.

It did seem to work, 6 year olds are so aware of what is happening and Im sure she has heard you cooing over the babys arrival and she may just be feeling a little bit lost right now, remember that ANY attention is attention, whether it be good or bad kids just don't care.

Best of luck and I hope her behaviour improves soon xx

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Oct 18th, 2012, 16:02 PM   #3
My 4 year is going through the same thing, well I think we are getting to the bottom of it as shes not as bad as she has been.
She would answer me back, shout at me, throw things, do the oposite of what I asked. I was at my wits end. I spoke to my OH and we put it down to the fact we were baby this baby that. So we started to involve her in more grown up things, like help cooking or unloading the dishwasher with me. She likes doing these things. We involve her in most baby decisions and we spoke about her behaviour and she is getting better. She even helps make her pack up for school x

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Oct 18th, 2012, 19:00 PM   #4
i would suggest that when she gets up from the table you give her a warning that if she doesn't sit and eat her dinner you Will assume she's finished and take her plate.

if she gets up again take it away and throw it. sounds harsh, however she will soon learn you mean business. do not give her snacks if she complains she is hungry later. a few nights of that Will have her scoffing her meal.

it must be hard to deal with that everyday hun. keep at it Xx

Sent from my shit hot phone! Fo shizzle home girls.

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Oct 18th, 2012, 19:17 PM   #5
Although the imminent arrival of a new baby is probably a factor, judging from my 6 year old and pretty much all her friends I think its a normal stage they go through. Has she just started yr1 or yr2? I know my girl found it a bit of a shock going from Reception to year 1 as so much more is expected of them. Year 2 seems to be a bit of a big leap too. Mine was shocking over the summer and upto the end of september. The last couple of weeks she's been a bit better. We'd started taking away treats like her weekly Rainbows (young brownies) or sweety night (family gorge-fest on a saturday!). A couple of times missing out on things she really likes seems to have made a difference.

For meal times that drag on, we use the kitchen timer. Anything that's not eaten by the time the bell goes off gets thrown in the bin and as there's no clean plate they don't get pudding. Its amazing how quickly it gets scoffed!

Tantrums result in being sent to bed - I know its frowned upon, that bedrooms are supposed to be a safe haven yadda yadda yadda but it works for us. We don't have anywhere for a naughty step/too many kids for it to work - the others go and talk to the kid on the naughty step which kind of defies the point.

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Oct 19th, 2012, 21:51 PM   #6
thanks ladies some great tips...ive used the if she gets up from table give her a warning n if she still does it i take her plate as pudds86 suggested...first time of trying... i ended up taking plate n she jus turned a blank eye to it but started asking for treats after so i refused n she threw a tantrum! i ignored it. anyway, came to bed time n she says shes hungry stil im sticking to my guns!(sooooo hard to do! finding it heartbreaking) nothing is allowed. if she ate she could of had something as i keep telling her.

see how tommorrow goes!

ive also involved her in all baby stuff and with the help in preparing too...i dont force her tho ill ask her once if she would like to help and she often says yes...she seems pretty excited about her new lil sister although i do understand coz it has been jus her for so long she does n must have some worries...i tell her everyday that she is still my baby and always will be. and we will always have time for just us two to spend together.

her additude has got alot better! i must say. ive jus put her straight on naughty step when she gives me a rude response. then i explain once her time is up why she is there.. that and taking her fave toys away and her having to earn them back with good behaviour and using manners seems to be doing the trick.

not perfect but getting there. its gonna take time i kno! but gotta start somewhere... thank all of you for ur responses they were all very helpful indeed xx

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Sep 27th, 2013, 10:56 AM   #7
This sounds just like my friend's 5-year-old. She can be a right little diva at times - haha! I'm sure some of it could be related to her insecurities about the new baby, but it's quite possible for those without babies on the way to be like this too.

This friend has been a single mum since losing her OH while she was pregnant. Her DD is desperate for a baby bro/sis but realises her mum needs an OH for this to happen. So she's now on a mission to find her a husband. Cue "WHAT ABOUT HIM MUM??!!!" in the middle of Asda or a quiet chat with (60yo+ grease ball) Mr Whippy to set up a date when she goes out for an ice cream. Hilarious.

I reckon it's a personality thing.

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6yr, shes, thinking

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