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milkybar
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Getting rid of dummy - help and Qs!

Mar 20th, 2018, 10:21 AM   #1
 
Hi there, i'm planning on getting rid of my 8 month olds dummy in 2 weeks over the easter weekend. I moved him into his own room for one night, but it was awful the amount of times i had to go in to give it back. There's no way it can happen like that every night, so i moved him back next to my bed in a crib. When he's next to me, it's still a lot of times, but my arm just shoots out so its more manageable.

In 2 months i go back to work, and ideally he'll be in his own room with no dummy by then. Planning for over easter allows for a good few days with no husband work in case of big night disruptions.

So, for those who have been there!
1 - if he could put the dummy in himself i have no problem him having it. He hasn't learnt yet, realistically i give up the idea of him learning in 2 weeks?
2 - if i get rid of it cold turkey for overnight, presumably it has to disappear for daytime nap use also?
3 - he currently has a muslin tag he likes to suck at the same time as the dummy. he can give this to himself. in terms of comfort the tag can stay, but how do i get it to be a sole replacement? his mouth currently stays open for the dummy also!
4 - i know cold turkey you're meant to go in and soothe and settle each moan, until eventually after a week they hopefully sleep through without any dummy moans. it sounds silly but the dummy has always been his comfort, i genuinely dont know how he'll comfort without it, i can see him just crying until i crack and give it back. just advice and aghhh words of wisdom needed!?

sorry for the loss of caps part way through. switched to typing one handed with v wiggly said 8 month old .

Thanks so much from very nervous mum of the upcoming 2 weeks
 
 
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Loula
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Mar 20th, 2018, 11:31 AM   #2
 
8 months is still pretty young.
Is there any reason why you really want to get rid of it.
Dummys are a comfort to a baby and I always think to myself what if someone just came and took one of our comforts I'm pretty sure we would be like what has happened.
Have you tried a dummy clip so if it does fall out he can try and find it?
If you are going to go cold turkey then it has to go permanently not picking and choosing when they have it.
I chose to get rid of things with my daughter when she was ready and fully understood what was Happening x
 
 

 
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milkybar
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Mar 20th, 2018, 17:34 PM   #3
 
I know where you're coming from, and honestly we're back and forwards each day over what is best to do. I'd like it to go because he's rapidly outgrowing his crib so he has to be in his own room soon. He has such a dependence on it that the one night i tried already in his own room was an experience not to repeat, and not feasible every single night; i was up and down so much and exhausted the next day as the sleep was even more disrupted than newborn days. So it wouldn't be possible like that whilst still on mat leave let alone when i return to work.

An ideal would be him still having it, but not being bothered if he wakes without it overnight. Or of course if he can put it in himself overnight. Dummy clip hasn't worked, hasn't helped him put it in and also doesnt like it when it falls out and rests in neck creases for eg.
So unless theres a way for night dependence to decrease? And then it wouldnt be as much a concern
 
 
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KHTW
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Mar 28th, 2018, 13:57 PM   #4
 
I would also think 8 months is a bit early, especially if he finds a lot comfort in having one but of course you have your reasons and that is not for us to judge.

Our DD just gave up hers at almost 2.5 years old but she did it on her own accord and there was no tears and no stress. I personally just couldn't do cold turkey.

There is a chance that once you take away his dummy he may suck on the cloth you mentioned or on his thumb and I suppose that would work?

Have you tried leaving a few dummies in his bed overnight? I heard that may help? Or maybe attach a couple to his clothe?

This is really a difficult subject as every child is different and responds differently. I wish you best of luck xx
 
 

 
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milkybar
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Mar 28th, 2018, 15:17 PM   #5
 
Well there's a slight development on this; my son was ill over the weekend and absolutely the dummy was the best thing to help sooth him. It was still a tough few days as it is with a sick child, and so me and H realised how much worse it'd be without the dummy. So it'll stay. But I'm going to try hardest to work on the dependence overnight.

KHTW I've tried attaching to the cloth with a chunky knot holding it in place and he can put it in! He's done it a few times to not be a fluke. But...that's in day time. At night the logic isn't there and he goes straight to moaning for it without attempting himself. So I'm doing the slow approach of putting the knot in his hand each overnight moan and guiding it in the hope he'll soon cotton on :s.

At least it's a less upsetting route. Thanks all x
 
 
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candymycandy
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Mar 28th, 2018, 16:27 PM   #6
 
I feel your pain as we went through this exact same thing with my lb. He eventually learned to put it in himself or it fell out and didn’t disturb him. Know this isn’t advice as such but it does get easier! x
 
 

 
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BunnyN
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Mar 28th, 2018, 16:46 PM   #7
 
Ours never took a dummy but my first always settled at night on my boob. When I got pregnant again I night weaned her because I was suffering from feeding aversion. I also thought maybe she would sleep better if she wasn't looking for my breast every time she woke up. Realistically she woke up just as often and still needed settling but it took much longer and was harder without the BFing. I have the feeling it might be the same with the dummy.
 
 

 
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GBLiz
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Mar 28th, 2018, 18:03 PM   #8
 
i use a dummy clip for mine. There is plenty of time to wean off the dummy in later years. Our sleep is more precious!!!
 
 

 
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Laura butchers
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May 31st, 2018, 08:16 AM   #9
 
I woukd say 8months old is a bit soon. My son was nearly 2 when we got rid of his. I just woke up one day and threw them all in the bin and never went back. We tried different ways of helping him calm when he needed his dummy. Normally a cuddle and a book did the world of good. At night time we would cry for his dummy but would eventually he would be asleep. Each night got easier and within a few days he would fall asleep without it straight away.
The says were long and it was a struggle at times. But i think once you commit to doing it dont go back on your decision.
 
 
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Mayflower85
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Jun 7th, 2018, 20:23 PM   #10
 
I took my my daughter's dummy away when she was 2.5. It would have been sooner but we moved house, had a new baby and then she broke her arm, so I waited until everything had settled a bit.

From about 12 months old she only had it for sleep or long car journeys anyway, I'd been strict about that (I hate seeing walking and talking toddlers with them). We left them out for Father Christmas - I thought the distraction of all the presents would take her mind off it - and he left her an extra special present.

The first two or three nights she cried for it for an hour or so, and took a little longer than normal to fall asleep but she did far better than I expected. She never woke in the night for it, and after the first couple of nights she settled without it and didn't ask for it again.

Six months on, she talks about having a dummy as a baby but accepts that she's a big girl now.
 
 
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