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Mrs Wibbily
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Jul 7th, 2013, 20:52 PM   #31
 
Thank you so much ladies for you replies. Tonight Finn had a bf and he usually goes to sleep but he's stopped doing that so... We read a couple of stories and then I put him into bed. He screamed but I cuddled and stayed with him. He was ok but eventually had a meltdown so I ended up feeding him again (far too hot for crying too much). He then fell asleep. I am awaiting his first wake up of the evening!!xx
 
 

 
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Hope81
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Jul 7th, 2013, 21:02 PM   #32
 
kK i think its the release of all emotions when they get picked, like omg mummy is here and at the same time i am so sleepy but i cant sleep but i am sleepy so why you pick me instead of helping me sleep??

i think both tilly and amelie love sleeping and nap quite ok and self settle too so when sth happens and they can't do it for whatever reason it seems weird to them to get them away from their bed instead of helping them sleep as they know very weel that sleep happens only in bed and they never slept in our arms etc.

thats my theory anyway lol.

amelie often cries more when she is picked (during the awake times too) and i ut that down during the day as letting all the emotions go. i think its actually a normal thing as adults too tend to cry more when comforted?
 
 

 
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ceebee
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Jul 7th, 2013, 21:02 PM   #33
 
I'm reading this thread with interest. I always thought I might try cc as I have health issues and Harry not sleeping can make me feel a lot worse, but now I'm not so sure I could do it - I mean, the poor little thing is probably having teething pain, so I would feel too awful to let him cry. I think as long as things aren't too horrendous then I will leave cc until Harry is a bit older.... It will be hard though as I'm struggling a lot with my health xx
 
 

 
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Roo3
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Jul 7th, 2013, 21:28 PM   #34
 
Just to add we didn't do cc until lo was a year old. He's now 2 and I do it whenever I feel it necessary to help us all get a decent nights sleep.
 
 

 
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twinkles
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Jul 7th, 2013, 21:44 PM   #35
 
Jeeewizzzz they still wake in the night at 2???? Aghh!!!!! Was assuming past 1year they decide its time for early nights and late risings! Oh no!!!

I decided a long time ago cc wasn't for me, mainly because from breast feeding your told 'build a bond' the second they are born its 'skin to skin' your told to have lots of cuddles and closeness and build your babies trust.... Then leave them cry?! It just goes against everything I have built with B! Maybe it's also because B isn't a crying baby, she only ever cries if there is something wrong, as in hurt herself, in pain, woken up, bad dreams etc and that's when she needs me there as I always do!!

I do also understand for some mummy's cc is the way forward and it does work for them.....but as with everything with babies and mummy's it always depends on the individual!!!

X
 
 
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Rachaellius
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Jul 7th, 2013, 22:08 PM   #36
 
Whenever Phoebe has been through rough patches of sleeping when she was little this blog has helped me every time http://nurshable.com/2012/07/19/the-...leep-training/ well worth a read to help you feel better about the sleepless nights.
I've never tried CIO or CC xxx
 
 

 
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twinkles
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Jul 7th, 2013, 22:25 PM   #37
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachaellius View Post
Whenever Phoebe has been through rough patches of sleeping when she was little this blog has helped me every time http://nurshable.com/2012/07/19/the-...leep-training/ well worth a read to help you feel better about the sleepless nights.
I've never tried CIO or CC xxx
Perfect! That's exactly how I feel!!! X
 
 
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HopesDreams
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Jul 7th, 2013, 22:50 PM   #38
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachaellius View Post
Whenever Phoebe has been through rough patches of sleeping when she was little this blog has helped me every time http://nurshable.com/2012/07/19/the-...leep-training/ well worth a read to help you feel better about the sleepless nights.
I've never tried CIO or CC xxx
Absolutely perfect.
 
 

 
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Mrs Wibbily
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Jul 7th, 2013, 23:27 PM   #39
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachaellius View Post
Whenever Phoebe has been through rough patches of sleeping when she was little this blog has helped me every time http://nurshable.com/2012/07/19/the-...leep-training/ well worth a read to help you feel better about the sleepless nights.
I've never tried CIO or CC xxx
Man I love this. Made me feel guilty though for the times I' e put him down and he's cried when I'm trying to get bits done. It's beautiful. Thanks for that. Xx
 
 

 
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Rachaellius
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Jul 7th, 2013, 23:34 PM   #40
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs Wibbily View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachaellius View Post
Whenever Phoebe has been through rough patches of sleeping when she was little this blog has helped me every time http://nurshable.com/2012/07/19/the-...leep-training/ well worth a read to help you feel better about the sleepless nights.
I've never tried CIO or CC xxx
Man I love this. Made me feel guilty though for the times I' e put him down and he's cried when I'm trying to get bits done. It's beautiful. Thanks for that. Xx
Aww don't feel guilty we all do our best and need to get the little things done, it just can't be helped sometimes xxx

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Tapatalk 2
 
 

 
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leesey
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Jul 8th, 2013, 00:35 AM   #41
 
What most of you have described isn't controlled crying per se, as most of you have said, if you thought your baby was getting distressed you've comforted them.

Controlled crying actually damages babies' brain development, and to their emotional development in general. The reason it works is because after getting so stressed out and scared that no one is coming to comfort them, their body goes into shut down mode. However, while they spend all that time get stressed and scared, the bad hormones such as cortosil are running riot, there's more pressure on the baby's heart, and their breathing and temperature escalate. Once they've gone into shut-down mode, the opposite happens.

Prolonged exposure to the stress hormones causes damage to the development of the frontal lobe which includes emotions like empathy and security. When we comfort babies, we are encouraging the development of these emotions instead. This affects how their emotional wellbeing will be in the future.

Controlled crying doesn't just affect babies now, it affects their whole lives, their future relationships, everything. It can be repaired but only by parents realising this and doing some serious damage control.

Just in case anyone accuses me of talking out my arse, I did my masters dissertation on attachment and emotional wellbeing, and I'm about to start my PhD in this area xx
 
 

 
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tambo1976
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Jul 8th, 2013, 01:33 AM   #42
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachaellius View Post
Whenever Phoebe has been through rough patches of sleeping when she was little this blog has helped me every time http://nurshable.com/2012/07/19/the-...leep-training/ well worth a read to help you feel better about the sleepless nights.
I've never tried CIO or CC xxx
Spot on! My thoughts exactly x

tapatalkin
 
 

 
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Ella1979
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Jul 8th, 2013, 07:56 AM   #43
 
Our LO has always been a good self-settler - in fact the first night she was in her cot in her own room (about 6 months old) she slept right through! I got up 4 or 5 times to check on her as I was worried, but she was absolutely fine. Because she's such a good sleeper, I don't think I leave her more than a couple of seconds when she cries at night.

During the day I have occasionally let her cry a little more as she makes a really big deal about not wanting naps (and is grumpy if she doesn't nap). I know her nappy's fine, she's been fed well and has drunk well, so it's just fussing. I find there's also a massive difference in the type of cry if it's just fussing rather than upset - she'll make a few cries, pause, waiting for you to come in, then start again. When she hears my footsteps on the stairs she'll stop! On those occasions I'll go into her room, try to settle her and come out again.

I have no idea what I'll do if my next one isn't good at self-settling without screaming down the house. From my experience of when my LO cries though, I doubt I'll be able to do controlled crying...
 
 

 
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Mrs Wibbily
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Jul 8th, 2013, 08:55 AM   #44
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by leesey View Post
What most of you have described isn't controlled crying per se, as most of you have said, if you thought your baby was getting distressed you've comforted them.

Controlled crying actually damages babies' brain development, and to their emotional development in general. The reason it works is because after getting so stressed out and scared that no one is coming to comfort them, their body goes into shut down mode. However, while they spend all that time get stressed and scared, the bad hormones such as cortosil are running riot, there's more pressure on the baby's heart, and their breathing and temperature escalate. Once they've gone into shut-down mode, the opposite happens.

Prolonged exposure to the stress hormones causes damage to the development of the frontal lobe which includes emotions like empathy and security. When we comfort babies, we are encouraging the development of these emotions instead. This affects how their emotional wellbeing will be in the future.

Controlled crying doesn't just affect babies now, it affects their whole lives, their future relationships, everything. It can be repaired but only by parents realising this and doing some serious damage control.

Just in case anyone accuses me of talking out my arse, I did my masters dissertation on attachment and emotional wellbeing, and I'm about to start my PhD in this area xx
Thank you so much for this information. I will NEVER even contemplate it again. I will be telling all my mummy friends. Xxx
 
 

 
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Mrs Wibbily
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Jul 8th, 2013, 11:38 AM   #45
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by leesey View Post

Controlled crying doesn't just affect babies now, it affects their whole lives, their future relationships, everything. It can be repaired but only by parents realising this and doing some serious damage control.
How on earth can you repair the damage already done?x
 
 

 
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answer, controlled, cryingis

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