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Polite way to ask your family to stop suggesting names?

Jul 12th, 2017, 10:36 AM   #1
 
I'm sure a lot of people deal with this and we are definitely going with OUR own choice, boy or girl. However both my parents and his keep making AWFUL name suggestions we both hate. My parents have very odd specific feelings on naming children (it can't be a shortened name e.g. you can't call them Alex, only Alexander) and you can't name them anything that they would consider to have an underisable nickname.

His parents are very much of the you name your child after someone or a traditional name. His father is Indian so they are insisting on an Indian name. Some of these are nice but both hubby and I have really hard to spell and pronounce names and know how frustrating it can be, plus unfortunately a lot of the female Indian names begin with "Man" or "Poo" as a prefix which in Scotland isn't great for the school yard. They also seem very keen for us to name our child after someone in the family which I personally hate because I feel it offends everyone else in the family especially if you each have 30+ cousins, 10+ aunties and uncles etc not even getting into extended family.

I'm only 13+2 and I know they're just excited but I really wish I could just say please stop suggesting names in a polite way because it's already doing my head in I can't stand it for another 6 months!! Did anyone tell their family to butt out and how did it go down?
 
 

 
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mylullaby
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Jul 12th, 2017, 11:05 AM   #2
 
Smile and nod, smile and nod. Give ZERO details until baby is here and you can announce and they will have to like it or lump it.
 
 

 
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mylullaby
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Jul 12th, 2017, 11:05 AM   #3
 
Congratulations on your pregnancy by the way x
 
 

 
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vic30
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Jul 12th, 2017, 11:10 AM   #4
 
Exactly what mylullaby said! X
 
 

 
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firstfreakout
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Jul 12th, 2017, 14:44 PM   #5
 
I'd just thank them for their suggestions and then leave it there. When they ask what you're thinking tell them it's a surprise/personal until the birth. Once the baby's born they won't have anything to say regarding the name!

Congrats x
 
 

 
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mylullaby
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Jul 12th, 2017, 14:50 PM   #6
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by firstfreakout View Post
tell them it's a surprise/personal until the birth
Or even more vague "oooh we couldn't possibly decide until we've seen his/her little face" (even if you've had your names picked out since you were 5 )
 
 

 
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snowbee
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Jul 12th, 2017, 20:34 PM   #7
 
What the others have said! You can even make it into a game for them and ask them to write down their guesses. My dad came out with some very random suggestions, I found it fairly amusing. We didn't name our little boy until he was over a week old and people were coming up with all sorts of suggestions. We also didn't want to name after family, it would only offend someone if we did.
 
 

 
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Selina13
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Jul 20th, 2017, 20:31 PM   #8
 
I know I shouldnt come along and suggest a name but I have friends who are married, she is Indian British and hubby is White British, they have 3 girls but chose Indian middle names for their girls which helped the balance of whst they both wanted. One name in particular I loved was Preeya. Not trying to push you in any direction but this worked for them and I though it was lovely.
I think as someone else suggested, you just say you wont know until you have seen your baby and just explain that they can write their suggestions for you to ponder closer to the birth. Xxxxx
 
 

 
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Kitana
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Jul 28th, 2017, 01:38 AM   #9
 
My family was giving loads of suggestions as well but when we said we decided on a name and reveal it at birth. They stopped suggesting but started guessing! Was more fun to see them suffer!
 
 

 
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russellmuscle
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Jul 28th, 2017, 02:59 AM   #10
 
I just give my opinion on the name and move on. I had my names picked out. People just like to feel they had an input or need to know every detail.

xxxx
 
 

 
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MissCharli
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Jul 31st, 2017, 00:24 AM   #11
 
I agree, either tell them that you've picked a name and it's going to be a surprise or that you want to meet them first!

We have kept our name a secret from everyone, which hasn't been easy as certain members of both our families have been pestering us! I think if I was to do it again I would say that we want to meet them first. Either way though I don't recommend telling them the name before the baby is born, people can be really rude before the baby is born cos it's not real yet!
 
 

 
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GBLiz
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Nov 28th, 2017, 19:40 PM   #12
 
Hi, I know this thread is a bit old now just wanted to say I hear you on the Indian family thing! My OH is indian and while we picked an indian name for our first child (a name i chose and loved), the second didnt get an indian name. MIL was so put out that she used the traditional sikh middle name in his cards and gifts and said as far as she was concerned he was indian so she would use that name! unbelievable! It can be VERY hard to please a proudly-traditional indian family and my advise is dont even try because the more you try the more they expect! Keep your boundaries politely and respectfully. its your baby!
 
 

 
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JustTrying
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Nov 28th, 2017, 21:53 PM   #13
 
You mean Sikh female names because most female indian names don't begin with "man" or "poo"
 
 

 
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LuckyLaura
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Dec 3rd, 2017, 01:40 AM   #14
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustTrying View Post
You mean Sikh female names because most female indian names don't begin with "man" or "poo"
My husband is sikh and we are considering sikh names for our kids which is our choice and no one else has actually tried input yet. I think there are a lot of beautiful names like our wee niece Rasleen that don't have man or poo in them or maybe you could find a name that is also used for British names and Indian names too- that's what we are doing xx

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JustTrying
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Dec 3rd, 2017, 07:13 AM   #15
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuckyLaura View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustTrying View Post
You mean Sikh female names because most female indian names don't begin with "man" or "poo"
My husband is sikh and we are considering sikh names for our kids which is our choice and no one else has actually tried input yet. I think there are a lot of beautiful names like our wee niece Rasleen that don't have man or poo in them or maybe you could find a name that is also used for British names and Indian names too- that's what we are doing xx

Sent from my G8141 using Tapatalk
I'm from an Asian background and hubby is European/English so we are also looking for inbetween (western leaning though) names to keep everyone happy. Our choice too btw, nobody has intervened but it's nice to consider everyone.

It's a nightmare I tell you because those universal names are common as anything now and o/h wants to be unique

Ps - Rasleen is different and I really like it but I'm having a boy lol
 
 

 
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family, names, polite, stop, suggesting

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